A Few Rules for Surviving and Thriving in Edinburgh

August is probably Edinburgh's warmest month of the year, not so much because of summer but because of the body heat of the thousands of people worldwide who converge on the "Athens of the North" for these festivities. If you only have a limited time to go to Edinburgh, go in August. See a play, drink, see a film, drink, watch street performers, drink, look at art, drink, dance the night away, drink...

You get the point, but for a better idea of what you're getting into, check out BBC News to see what the 1999 Festival was like. For news, seating info, ticket ordering, etc., see What's on Stage.

3. Pint glasses down, British beer beats American beer.

Not to slag off (insult) Yank brew, but when in Scotland skip Budweiser and Miller in favor of a good Scottish pint. Some of my personal suggestions: McEwans 70/-, McEwans 80/-, Tennents' Velvet 70/-, and Belhaven Best.

4. It was not "a good idea to build the Castle so close to the train station".

Edinburgh Castle outdates the Caledonian Sleeper by more than a millennium; nonetheless this observation, usually American and which I swear I'm not making up, contributes greatly to the "Americans are stupid" stereotype. That, and it's driving the Scots to drink.

5. Sip your whisky, don't slam it.

Don't spell whisky with an "e" either, and remember that the water of life can be every bit as complex and enjoyable as fine wine. It can also knock you on your ass faster and harder than a Highlander in battle, so take your time. Sniff, sip, swish, savor, swallow and repeat.

If you want to learn more about whisky than just its taste and effects, the Scotch Whisky Association and the Edinburgh Malt Whisky Tour are good places to start.

6. Have a fry-up.

Actually, have two: one when you're sober, and one after 1am, once the barmen have told you to do your mumblin' while you're stumblin'. Order chips: 'salt n' sauce' is traditional Edinburgh style, but if that's not to your taste, go for salt and vinegar - and lots of. The city has plenty of chippies offering up their greasy delights, but some of my personal faves include The Globetrotter (Bruntsfield Place), Kingfisher (Bread Street) and The Concorde Fish Bar (Home Street).

7. Take in the rugby and the football.

Head to the pub, have a pint, and cheer and jeer away. Don't worry about the Scots taking their sport too seriously; that usually happens only when they play England - and who can blame them?

8. Go to the museums - after all, they're free!

Well, most of them are, and for those that aren't, there are concessions. The capitol is home to many of Scotland's national galleries and museums, including the Museum of Scotland, the Dean Gallery, the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, and The Dynamic Earth, the newest attraction and the world's first geological visitor center, with exhibits detailing everything from the Big Bang to modern day.

9. Don't piss off, but get lost - on the bus, that is.

Lothian Regional Transport (LRT), the primary bus service for Edinburgh and the surrounding area, offers unlimited-use day tickets for £2.20 (US$3.50). It's said that there's no better way to learn your way around a city than to get lost in it, so buy a day ticket from the driver (correct change only, by the way) and explore as much as you want, all day.

Above all, when it comes to Edinburgh, have fun. Talk to people, and don't be afraid to walk around - in fact, be sure to walk around (use common sense, of course). There are few cities where it's easier to have a good time.

If you want to read more, Yahoo! Travel: Edinburgh provides some links. And remember: the Castle was there a long time before the train station. After a few drinks, though, it probably won't matter.