Fortaleza, Brazil - May 2000

OK, so we can’t play football too well, we are not so good at cricket these days, and our once fantastic empire is no more, but none of this ever stopped me being proud of being British. From Pakistan to Africa to Asia I have handed my faded passport over with some pride, feeling safe that “Her Britannic Majesty” personally “demands my safe conduct…”

I imagined on more or two occasions giving her a quick call, “Just to let you know Liz, I’m in Malawi - everything’s fine. They say the new picture on the £10 notes is very flattering.”

And then I tried to renew my passport!

I throw this down as a challenge to my country’s Foreign Office, and I am ready to send a Fortaleza goody-bag to the person who comes up with the most interesting explanation for this.

Firstly, we don’t have a full consulate here, only a honorary one (which I can accept as we are only the 5th largest city in Brazil) but I must admit that I was a bit shocked when I found out she didn’t speak a word of English. In my innocence I had always guessed that this would be in the job description. Not a word!

OK, for me this is no problem as I can speak Portuguese. She told me it was impossible to renew my passport here and had to call Rio, who told me (after 3 hours hanging on the phone) that I had to ring Sao Paulo who told me Recife, who told me Bahia who told me Manaus, who told me Fortaleza, who decided that they had actually not told me the absolute truth about Rio and instead I should ring Brasilia.

After one day on the phone and a bunch of wrong numbers I managed to get to speak to the person in Rio who actually had the forms I needed to complete. OK, so Britain is not exactly a world leader anymore, but I almost fell off my chair when they told me that there was no money to send the forms to me!! Imagine, the British government being so decadent as to send a stranded Brit some documents. Again, this is not a problem - really. But my concern is this; Imagine that the embassy has no money for postage (and barely speaks English), taking this to the logical conclusion it means that the embassy has no money for visiting imprisoned Brits (something I thought that they would do by law…).

My point is this, Rio is a beautiful hedonistic city which hosts the world famous carnival each year which attracts more than its fare share of Brits, one or more of which may end up on the wrong side of the law. In a normal country the embassy would at least send someone to see you are OK (but not influence the judicial process), but it seems in Rio that you are going to have to send the consulate the bus fare first.

I have two suggestions. I think that each time a Brit arrives in Rio, I think they should go to the embassy and make a voluntary contribution of the return bus fare (just in case). Secondly if you want to either renew your passport, get into trouble or have any consult help, go to Japan. Last time I renewed my passport there I was automatically entered into a free draw to win a return trip home!

Meanwhile, back in the real world….

Are you ready to rock?

I mean, are you really really up for it? You are? Good because it is now time once again to turn our thoughts to carnaval and the mad merriment which goes with it. Incidentally, talking of rock, for sheer amusement I recommend trying to get a Brazilian to say ‘Rock in Rio’ (which is apparently some big music festival which is celebrating some big anniversary this year). Of course, their pronunciation comes out as ‘Hock in Heeeooo’, which for some surreal reason gives me hysterics.

Traditionally, in the last week of July Fortaleza hosts the small out-of-season carnaval “Fortal”. When I read in all the guidebooks small, I imagined one or two floats, a few streets closed and home in time for the late show. And then I realized that I was in Brazil. I am told that we can expect about 1,000,000 people packed onto the main beach front road in an orgy of lithe, nubile young bodies all partying like there is no tomorrow (if it is half as good as my last Carnaval who cares about tomorrow) for the four day event.

I am also reliably told, by my students who seem to know these things, that it is one of the most erotic, exotic, passionate carnivals in the world - of course I shall be reporting directly from the middle as not only do I live on the main route but I have decided to splurge some money and join a blocco (a group of about 5000 people belonging to one school or samba group). I shall be accompanied on this dangerous venture (imagine the trouble I go to for BootsnAll having to surround myself amongst all those lithe, semi-naked sweaty bodies…horrendous) by my trusty globe trotting travel agent who I hope is a lot fitter than I am as I am going to need someone to carry me home.

The exact cost of joining a blocco seems a little bit hazy, with reliable estimates ranging from about 30 US$ to 300 US$ for the most prestigious blocco. Of course, I shall be going out with the cheapest blocco. The advantages of joining a blocco seem to be that not only do you get to wear the blocco t-shirt and dance behind the main floats in the parade (most definitely where you want to be if being surrounded by hot sweaty semi-naked bodies), each blocco has its own beer float where you can buy beer for a few cents, which any way I look at it sounds like a good deal to me. I have also heard that perhaps being in a blocco is a little bit safer as the majority of muggings and pick pocketing occurs outside.

Carnival’s roots go back to the ancient Romans and Greeks who celebrated the rites of spring. In the Middle Ages, when the Catholic Church tried to suppress all pagan ideas, it failed when it came to this celebration. The Church incorporated the rite into its own calendar as a period of thanksgiving. The nations of Europe, especially France, Spain, and Portugal, gave thanks by throwing parties, wearing masks, and dancing in the streets.

All three colonizing powers carried the tradition with them to the New World, but in Brazil it landed with a difference. Not only did the Portuguese have a taste for abandoned merriment, (they brought the “entrudo“, a prank where merry-makers throw water, flour, face powder, and many other things at each other’s faces), but the Negro slaves also took to the celebration. They would smear their faces with flour, borrow an old wig or frayed shirt of the master, and give themselves over to mad revelry for the three days. Many masters even let their slaves roam freely during the celebration. Since the slaves were grateful for the chance to enjoy themselves, they rarely used the occasion as a chance to run away. Of course, this normally happened just before lent. Quite how Fortaleza ended up with Fortal is a mystery, one which no one quite seems to have an answer to.

In Fortal, like the main carnaval, anything goes. One year a major samba school used Leonardo da Vinci as the inspiration for its theme. In an effort to show all the facets of the master’s work, one of the cars included a live display of Da Vinci’s superb studies of the human anatomy. Putting it bluntly, the car featured a man and a woman, both stark naked, dancing in two giant vertical rings. Just like Leo’s sketches…

Wherever the car passed, the crowds literally went wild! TV stations would not dare show images of the car from up close, but newspapers on the following day showed every gory detail of the couple’s generous anatomy. Enraged moralists dutifully went in an uproar, and threatened to sue the young couple for indecent exposure! Brasil - I love it!.

The school claimed that the girl was actually wearing a diminutive bikini bottom all the time. As the uninhibited couple had been sprinkled with glitter to better catch the lights, the excuse stuck. The young man’s anatomy naturally “stood out” a bit more than the girl’s while he danced and moved his hips around, though, so they had to come up with other logical explanation.

However, my favourite carnaval story, which I am told is 100% true, is that a certain well known personality put together a group of friends to come enjoy Carnival. This happened in the 80’s, and many in the group were HIV+. Unfortunately one of the most enthusiastic travellers passed away before the trip.

For some reason our friend was put in charge of disposing of his ashes. After pouring a little here and there at favourite spots, he decided to bring the rest of the ashes to Rio. This guy used to love a party as much as anybody else, and if his last wish was coming for Carnival in Rio….so be it.

He brought in his luggage a couple of bags of beautiful golden balloons. With the help of a coffee spoon, he carefully scooped the ashes and poured them into the balloons. With the help of a straw to avoid direct contact, they were blown up one by one. Once tied, they had this nice rattling sound to them…

The group with the rattling balloons made a big entrance at the Gala Gay ball and once everybody was there, beautiful golden balloons started falling from the sky into the dance floor. Another big hit! People started playing with the stuffed balloons, until each one eventually burst in a white shower. A glorious way to say good-bye. Only in Brazil…

Needless to say, I will be reporting from the front line. I am off to Amazonas now, have a good week wherever you are in the world.

Geography

Located just under the equator, in a clearly tropical position, is the Cearense coast. The greenish-blue water is warm all year around. The average temperature ranges from 25 to 28°Celsius.

Fortaleza is the capital of the North Eastern Brazilian state of Ceará. It is a large, modern city where bold, new architecture contrasts with beautiful beaches and tall coconut palms.

Brazil Map

Ceara State Map

Weather

Why ask? It’s going to be hot, between 27 - 33 degrees, blue skies and heaven is a local call.

Accommodation

Accommodation falls into three categories. Hotel, motel and pousada.

Hotels range from the reasonably priced such as the Hotel Passeio (tel/fax 085 252 2104) which has doubles for about R$30 a night, to the mid priced Olympio Praia Hotel (about US$100 a night) which includes a massive breakfast (tel 085 244 9122) to the massive Ibis Hotel (silly price).

Motels are a Brazilian institution and most rent by the hour. Mostly, or so I am told, they are clean and reasonably priced. If you are considering staying in one it might be a good move to check the room before handing over any cash.

Most people stay in a pousada. These small, often family fun hotels generally offer excellent value for money, clean rooms and friendly service. There are about 65 officially registered pousadas in central Fortaleza. Unless you are arriving in the height of summer, finding a nice room shouldn’t be a problem.

Health

Generally Fortaleza is a healthy place - the odd hangover permitting. However, there is some concern about a recent outbreak of dengue fever. As always, plan ahead and ask your local doctor before travelling. Malaria is not an issue in this area. Up to the minute updates can be found at:

www.cdc.gov

And more specifically on dengue.

Travel

Fortaleza is three hours flight, or two days by bus from São Paulo the main gateway to Brazil. The flights are not cheap, but sometimes Varig has special deals.

The best way to travel around Brazil is with an air pass, which must be bought outside the country.

The Author
In a rare break from tradition, Philip has let this month’s article be hijacked by fellow Brit Nick “hey, you there, just hold that pose for me” Kay.

Philip (right) was a regular contributor to this and other travel magazines until he tried to renew his passport in Brazil and realized how impossible it was. He can often be found stalking the British Consulate and trying to extract his much missed passport from her person.

When not indulging in this kind of fun and games he can be found in someone else’s office using their phone to try and get a direct line to the Ministry of Education in Mozambique, his girlfriend’s house in Holland or his local travel agents.

Philip also strenuously denies that his is currently in talks with a host of Hollywood stars wanting to make a biography of him. He can be contacted at Philip@ufc.br.

Nick Kay is a photographic nut and long time traveler. When not hanging around on dark streets with his light meter, or flying club class he lives and presumably works in Derby, England. The photos here are from his first trip to Brazil.

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