Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law

Qualifying Statement #5

In order to support my nefarious ways, I have to work. It doesn’t matter if it is as a stockbroker in Atlanta, Georgia or a hotel night auditor in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. So here is how you do it in Costa Rica.

I came rolling into Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica at the beginning of September 1999 with three thousand dollars in “old style” hundreds and a shoulder bag. I was SO SURE that I would immediately get a job. I didn’t even speak the language fluently at the time. But, I was sadly mistaken. The main problem was that I was illegal to work in Costa Rica, but that didn’t stop me. It doesn’t stop many people. Costa Rica is pretty lax where the law is concerned.

If I had been smart, then I would have stayed in San Jose and taught English. I majored in English in college anyway. But, not me, I grew up in a landlocked area of The United States and I was BY GOD determined to live at the beach.

Fast forward to December: Having spent the majority of my money on hookers and beer, I was getting desperate. FINALLY, a hotel hired me to work. I guess that they figured that Immigration would never spot me because I looked like everyone else and if I made a mistake in my Spanish then they would think that I was drunk or retarded or both. Which, at times, was the case. So, I worked until the end of the summer. For Costa Rica, that would be December through April. And, so it went.

After the summer, I found myself in San Jose running morphine for a chronic pain patient. ALL LEGAL, I might add. And I liked San Jose. It is not as bad as people think. Sure, I got robbed a couple of times. But, what is a little money and ALL of my clothes between friends? Besides that, I was in places where I shouldn’t have been. Story of my life.

If you are a native English speaker, then there are about fifty language schools that will immediately give you a job in San Jose. All illegal and nobody cares. God, I love this place. You can’t get caught anyway. But, they will deport you if they catch you. And, they caught me. It all worked out in the end. They just give you a letter that says that you have to leave within five days and then they let you go. Well, needless to say, I didn’t leave because one of my students “knew” some people.

Sometime in July 2000, I found myself rifling around the streets of Jaco. No job, no prospects, and little to no money. I was collaborating on a book with a buddy of mine. And so, through happenstance, I went to work for an independent tour operator. I guess that I should explain something. EVERYTHING in Costa Rica works on commission. Everything. So, tour operators just sell tours and collect the commission.

In all honesty, if you want to come to Costa Rica and live and work. Then start out in San Jose and teach English. Also, I know a fellow in Immigration who can get your papers for you in two days for about $450. Usually, it takes about six months to a year and costs about $1200. But, that is neither here nor there. Save the beach for later.

Once you figure everything out, then it is a lot easier to shift around. Trust me. I left the country yesterday, after fifteen months. My, how time flies when you are rifling through Central America, writing your magnum opus.

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