Australian Time Out #9: Australia\’s Shrine to Tat

9: Australia’s Shrine to Tat

Only two hours after being bundled into the bus at Byron, we spotted vast skyscrapers on the horizon, the first since Sydney. Aha! Must be Surfers Paradise, biggest resort on the Gold Coast, taker of money and giver of neon-lit entertainment!

Every year, thousands of Australians ignore 99% of their beaches to pile on top of each other at the Gold Coast, Oz’s answer to the Costa Del Sol. Luring them is the promise of sun, sand and, best of all, lots of tat!

Our hostel was right beside the transit centre, The Islander Backpackers Resort, which was massive – part hostel, part hotel. En-suite bathrooms and (hurray!) TV in every room. Impersonal but well-run.

Surfers’ beach is fantastic, pristine sand and surf stretching as far as the eye can see in both directions, the only free thing to do here (watch out for the strong rips here – it’s not called Surfers for nothing). It takes a strong will to walk down the Esplanade and ignore the bright lights and blaring music pleading you to part with your hard earned cash. Nightclubs, pubs, bowling, arcades, shopping malls, restaurants, mini-golf centres, and even a shooting gallery (with real guns, mind!). Think Blackpool and the like, but with better weather. Massive skyscrapers casting shadows over parts of the beach. That’s not to say I didn’t like it, but on our paltry budget I really couldn’t get into the spending spirit that is needed in a place like this.

Strangely enough, when we did decide to blow the budget in a big way (well, we went to the cinema on full-price night – we are backpackers, after all) it took us one and a half hours to walk to the cinema! Walking along the Gold Coast highway we saw at least ten different building developments, including a skyscraper billed as the ‘highest residential tower in the world’. We saw tons of sun-burnt tourists in tons of restaurants. In fact, the only difference between here and Benidorm was the lack of paella on the menu.

Surfers, amongst other things, has a fantastic selection of theme parks to satisfy everyone. Dan and I teamed up with another couple, checked our egos and our age at the door at Wet and Wild, the fantastic water slide park. Completely and utterly worth the price, especially Terror Canyon I & II (seriously scary), Mammoth Falls (I hadn’t screamed so much in ages), and the relaxing wave pool. If you are a theme park buff, save some money and buy a combined pass for Wet and Wild, Movie World and Sea World and then go to your favourite park a second time for free. Our dorm-mates went to Dreamworld, the Gold Coast’s answer to Alton Towers and had a great time too. A tip – buy the combined bus-and-entry ticket from the bus driver, as it works out cheaper than buying them separately.

Make sure to walk around the city centre at night, when the neon really gets a chance to shine, and do some ‘night shopping’ along Elkhorn and Orchid avenues – if you like your Gucci and Prada, darling. Or maybe just some ‘window shopping’. Internet cafes with very competitive prices can be found along the Gold Coast highway, which runs straight through the city.

Our stay in Surfers ended with our budget completely blown out of the water, even on days when we did very little. As I said, the beach is fabulous, but so are all the other beaches I’ve seen so far in our travels. I guess some people want to go there because it’s easy to get to, the package deals are cheap, lots of things to do with the kids and you are guaranteed a good time (if you bring tons of money). But for me I could have been anywhere on the planet, so I didn’t think I’d miss it too much when I left.

Things to do in Surfers:

1. Before you do anything – forget the budget.
2. Sign up for the backpacker pub crawl – all the hostels team up and offer free drinks.
3. Check out Condom World, located in the centre of the town, enough said.
4. THEME PARKS!!!

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