Fear and Loathing at the Laughing Jackalope – Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

Not to tread upon Hunter S. Thompson, but I grew up thinking of Vegas as being a mobster’s haunt. After all, in my neighborhood there were stories of gangland killings, vehicles machine-gunned at certain crossroads, and one aunt’s second husband was bent. But right before my first trip in 1985, I read about gonzo journalism and Samoan attorneys. So I followed in the Duke’s footsteps by staying with my own version of a Samoan attorney at Bob Stupek’s Vegas World, where the Polish Admiral plied us with free booze all day, everyday, even when we weren’t gambling – top shelf too. I was so dehydrated on the way home that my skin split on the airplane.

Today Vegas World is now the Stratosphere, and I am off to stay at the Flamingo with my friend Jodi, who declares that we will be “Queens of the Low Rollers”. Who knows what might happen? After all, on my last trip when my friend Mike, who retired to Vegas, was introducing me to his favorite local hangout, we were called upon to aid a would-be suicide until emergency services arrived. As to being a “low roller”, Mike says that if you don’t want to lose the farm (serious gamblers are either professionals or rich) and want to get the most gamble for the buck, plus all the free drinks in the world, play video poker. First of all, find a casino bar that has poker machines. Give the bartender a $10.00 bill and ask for a roll of quarters and whatever you want to drink. Every time you want a drink give them another ten-spot and ask for another roll of quarters and your drink. Tip the bartender. Play as many quarters as you wish. When you are ready to move to another casino, cash in your quarters for more 10’s.

It worked the last time, not enough to get rich, but enough to pay expenses. This time I got in some practice on a computer game. And my friend Mike has a new local hangout. This one is called Laughing Jackalope and is near Mandalay Bay.

As it turns out, now that I can see through the haze and pain of my hangover, the Laughing Jackalope is right on Las Vegas Blvd. It is a well-run, clean motel/restaurant/bar with progressive video poker, and the biggest drinks in town. According to the story, the owner was down and out, and hitchhiking to Vegas with his last dough, when he saw a “Laughing Jackalope”, a jack rabbit with antlers, out in the desert. The mythical creature brought him luck and he opened the bar with his winnings.

Bartenders Debbie, Tina, Angie, Chris, and Emil keep everyone happy. It’s the first time I’ve seen a tumbler of Jagermeister, hence, as my friend Philip would say, this stonking hangover. Chef Gary makes some dynamite ribs, even the taxi drivers agree, huge sandwiches, and really good pizza � thin crust, almost Sardinian style. They also rent the rooms for $15.00 a night. You have to have a credit card and a $20.00 deposit, but the rooms are clean and just across the street from Mandalay Bay where you can hop a tram to the rest of America’s playground.

Knowing the trams is an important part of getting around Vegas. You can go from Mandalay Bay to the Excalibur and from the Luxor to Excalibur. You can also walk on an enclosed walkway to from Mandalay Bay to the Luxor. The tram from the Excalibur takes you to Mandalay Bay. From the Excalibur it is just a short walk to either the Monte Carlo where a tram runs to Bellagio or to the MGM where you can catch another tram to Ballys/Paris. From the Mirage you catch another tram to Treasure Island, which is right across the street from the Venetian and up the street from the New Frontier and the Desert Inn, which is Steve Wynn’s new spectacular. He’s not saying what’s what yet, but rumor has it that the golf course will go.

And there are the escalators and above-ground walkways that help in crossing the streets, where the locals say that every fourth car is driven by a drunk driver.

Also, let it be known that if a car hits you and you aren’t at a crosswalk then it is not the motorist’s fault. I saw so many people just stroll across streets with no regard to the walk sign. I thought, here I am having drank three large at the Jackalope and I know to wait for the sign, so maybe it’s 1, 2 3, drunk with the drivers, and 1, 2, 3, and more drunk with the pedestrians. After all, you can still smoke and drink in Las Vegas.

Vegas is huge. So the building that seems so close seems like two miles when you are walking, especially in heels. My friend Jodi insisted on wearing them and one night she came home with tar on both feet because she had to abandon her shoes. Knowing the tram system can save your feet and your pocketbook. It also helps to know the bus system. For instance, I caught the 301 right in front of the Jackalope and for the price of 2 bucks (exact change please) could stop at any of the places along the way – Tropicana, San Remo, MGM, and more, until there I was back at the Flamingo.

Later that night, I had a spot of spectacular luck and snagged enough at a machine to have a celebration. So I booked reservations at one of two 5 star restaurants � Picasso at the Bellagio. I had one of five tables on the terrace overlooking the “dancing waters show” and believe me; I had such tiny little bites that I managed to eke out the experience for a very long time. What a treat and worth the price of admission! Throughout my dinner, I heard nine shows and none was a repeat. I had the prix fixe and the wine pairing. One of the dishes was a fresh casing sausage stuffed with slices of lobster and paired with both a cold and a warm salsa. Followed was a dessert of tangerine dreamsicle meringue with warm blackberries.

In all my trips the Flamingo certainly has one of the best pool areas, simply because there are four pools linked by winding secluded areas. Instead of all the chairs being lined up like in a cattle yard, you can find a quiet nook for a snooze or a drink or a morning bagel picnic. I sat in a white wicker, canvas, and wood cabana chair. They delivered me a banana daiquiri and a little wooden shelf popped down to hold my drink.

The thing to remember about Vegas is that one can get too hooked, crawl into the bottle, sell the family mementos at the pawn shop, and chase the Royal Flush; the town is filled with stories. My friend Mike knows a lot of them because he enjoys researching the history of his town. And so I board my plane a little wiser and thankfully not too much lighter in the pocketbook.

You can find the Laughing Jackalope at 3969 Las Vegas Blvd. South. Ph: (702-739-1915)

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