Have Wheel, Will Travel
Norway
What if I told you that I knew several people that went up against precarious weather conditions, mountains, fjords and the unforgiving expenses required to travel in Norway, all for the pleasure of unicycling 578 miles north from Trondheim into the Arctic Circle? If your first reaction was anything like mine, it was probably an entertaining mix of confusion and horror.
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings that may exist at this point. Yes, I said unicycling. Yes, that’s the thing with one wheel. No, I am not kidding.
Despite what you may have learned from Saturday morning cartoons, most unicyclists are not, in fact, in the circus. Indeed, after the incalculable number of instances when spectators have felt compelled to sing the opening notes of the circus theme song upon spotting a unicyclist on the street, the tune itself now causes so much instinctual distress for the average unicyclist that enjoying a circus performance is nearly impossible. By and large, for most people unicycling is merely an obsessive, physically demanding hobby. If you want to know how long someone has been unicycling and their level of devotion to the discipline, all you have to do is examine their bare legs. Substantial scar tissue between the knees and ankles from gruesome, bone jarring wipe-outs, deep pedal and crank lacerations and tire burns are an ongoing fact of life for serious unicyclists. Like the rings of a tree, you simply need to count the scars and permanent shin dimples to estimate a unicyclist’s longevity and skill in the sport.
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Showing Off Skills |
Is it really a sport? Yes, unicycling is a sport. The unicycling community has annual and semi-annual nail-biting national and world championships respectively. Much like figure skating, routines are timed and judged for technical difficulty and artistic content. A serious competitor can expect to practice six days a week for a minimum of three hours a day to have a realistic shot at a title and that’s assuming one already has the proficiency that is only attainable through years of the aforementioned training schedule in the first place. Accordingly, a skilled and dedicated unicyclist has all the muscle tone and conditioning of a serious athlete. Advanced unicycling skills require strenuous physical effort from nearly all parts of the body, particularly the legs. The only thing that separates earnest unicyclists from mainstream athletes is that there are few, if any, lucrative endorsement deals to be had.
A rapidly growing sub-set of unicycling is the distance touring enthusiasts, which brings us back to the Norwegian insanity that I spoke of earlier. The sight of 10 road-weary but cheerful unicyclists spontaneously appearing and whizzing down the road would make people take pause in almost any city. For the stunned onlookers in Norway’s tiny northern towns, the same sight was a bizarre and thrilling event. The Norwegian Unicycle Tour (NUT) group was the subject of a veritable Norwegian media hurricane from the moment they arrived in Trondheim. Word about weird stuff travels fast in Norway. Without sending out a single press release, TV and newspaper representatives were camped out, waiting for the NUT group in nearly every wide spot in the road. Even people in the relative bustling metropolis of Bergen, far off the tour course, recognized the group and their efforts when I spoke of them.
The unicycles used for distance riding are not the same ones you see in parades and in competition. The wheels and cranks are much larger and the tires have a tread that is better suited for road rides. Beyond those details, the road unis are custom designed by each rider with such options as speedometer computers, “drag brakes” (without which, going downhill on a unicycle can be a very unsettling experience), modified handle bars, bike bells and even small rear racks for carrying tools and food.
I asked Andy Cotter of Hutchinson, Minnesota – the ringleader and organizer of the unicycle tour series – what the heck he was thinking (or more importantly, inhaling) when he hatched the NUT idea when I caught up with the group in Bodø, a fishing village of 42,000, located at a latitude of 67° 17′ north, well inside the Arctic Circle. “We selected Norway for the incredible scenery and once we decided that we wanted to see the midnight sun, the Arctic Circle was the obvious choice.” Cotter, 35, is an enviably lean and muscular man with a youthful presence. He is an HR database manager at General Mills by day and a tireless unicyclist for just about every other waking moment. One look at his knotted legs will confirm Cotter’s claim to 19 years of serious unicycling and countless national and world titles in individual, pairs and team competitions.
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The NUTs |
The NUT participants were an impressive mix of unique, but mutually admirable people. John Stone of New York City was a grizzled distance unicycling veteran. In addition to participating in the 2001 European Unicycle Tour, from Cologne to Barcelona (over 1,100 miles in 19 days. Talk about chafing…) he once ill-advisedly rode a standard, unmodified unicycle 85 miles in a single day. “That was harder than any other long distance ride in my life,” he intoned. “By the end and for the next day, the pain was so intense I had to be bedridden with ice-packs on my knees.” When John isn’t accelerating his chances of acquiring arthritic joints, he spends his time composing music for shows in New York, and writing a book about influence, and editing manuscripts. Stone often uses his unicycle as a means of transport at home and reports that unicycling in New York City has its own daunting array of challenges. Traffic, people and pet poo aside, there are the nasty attempts by malevolent onlookers to get him to fall by flashing their breasts – which would be well worth the fall in my book – or yelling such clever verbal barbs as “Hey, faggot!” Unlike the other NUT participants, Stone does not spend a vast amount of his free time in a gym honing his technical skills on the unicycle. He is content with the challenges of distance riding and the social virtues of unicycling. “I have met many wonderful people who ride, especially those on the long-distance tours,” he explains. “[They have been] experiences that I liken to a miraculous and happy blending of summer camp and college.” Stone is planning to participate in the 2005 Alps Unicycle Tour and has aspirations of a ride across the U.S. some day.
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Teasing Sheep |
The riders were in good spirits on their first of two nights in Bodø, despite being sun burnt, exhausted and in a semi-stupor after traveling 63 miles (their longest day) on an unusually warm, cloudless day in the Arctic Circle. After unpacking and cleaning up, the riders limped en masse to a nearby Italian restaurant where they tried to replace the approximately 5,000 calories that they burned daily, while recounting the sights and notable events of the day’s ride.
One of the unicycle tour virgins was Ryan Woessner. At 15, Woessner was the youngest NUT participant. Ryan exploded onto the unicycling scene a mere four years ago at the tender age of 12, quickly zapping through the Unicycling Association of America’s technical grading echelons. His dizzying ascension in unicycling circles culminated in a stunning performance in Seattle in 2002 where he snatched the world individual male championship away from a daunting field of much older and experienced competitors. When asked what inspired him to join the NUT, Ryan quickly responded, “The Norwegian Unicycle Tour was a great opportunity to combine travel and unicycling, two things that I love!” All of his admirable achievements haven’t affected the friendly charisma that is apparent the instant you meet young Woessner. His continual perma-grin has earned him the nick-name “Smiley.”
For the uninitiated, here’s another word of warning about unicycle related faux pas. When you are in the midst of unicyclists, whatever you do, no matter how hilarious it may seem at the time, do not shriek out “Hey! What happened to the other wheel?!?” It wasn’t particularly witty the first time and after enduring the same line 874,938 successive times from slack jawed, often inebriated gawkers, the joke has become a little over-ripe. Unfortunately, in those remote parts of Norway, most of the slack-jawed, inebriated gawkers had never seen a unicyclist live and in-person, so the joke was resurrected with a whole new, excruciating vigor. However, the quick thinking, pun-happy unicyclists were able to make that round of inane comments more tolerable. When a truck zipped past them and a yokel hung his head out the window and inquired as to the fate of their other wheel, they quickly responded with, “I couldn’t a-fjord it!”
In addition to the obvious bragging rights of having participated in the NUT, the unicyclists benefited from the extraordinary curiosity and friendliness of the Norwegians as they made their way through countless small towns and villages. They were warmly welcomed into far-flung homes by the side of the road when running low on water and in need of a bathroom, had half a dozen townspeople rush to their aid when their support vehicle broke down and even had quick pro bono welding repairs made to their unicycles at truck stops.
On the down side, the group endured rain, hills, sleep deprivation, panicky sprints to waiting ferries, reindeer skin beds, and knee and Achilles repetitive stress injuries. They traversed mountains, navigated long, sporadically lit tunnels and shared the dreadfully narrow roads with huge cargo trucks, whose high-speed wake vortex regularly blew the riders off the pavement, into an intimate, surprise tour of the ditch. When the ominous traffic conditions weren’t keeping them on their toes, the unicyclers had the pleasure of viewing the awe-inspiring scenery of the Norwegian countryside and wildlife sightings that included moose, reindeer, fox and countless species of birds.
There will be no unicycle tour in the summer of 2004 as the unicyclists will be otherwise engaged with the much anticipated 12th International Unicycling Convention and Championships in Japan. Over 300 International unicyclists are expected to attend, with up to 50 from the US, and where current World Champion (& NUT participant), Ryan Woessner, has his eye on a second consecutive World Championship.
If you would like more information on unicycle related details, visit the Unicycling Society of America web page.
