Don't Eat The Green Cake - Cancun, Mexico

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Don't Eat The Green Cake

Cancun, Mexico


My wife and I always look for travel deals that do not include a 90-minute tour. Not that a tour is bad, but I would rather visit different spots, rather than a predetermined area touted as "time sharing" or "vacation planning alternatives." Never send money. Always use caution.

We did not go somewhere for our honeymoon. After the vows, we began shopping. Cancun was our favorite tourist vacation. We were a little skeptical of the internet, so we went to a travel agent and got in on some last-minute travel plans.

CATEGORY:

The trip began. Security and the airport were tolerable. The hardest thing was parking and dragging our suitcases to the terminal. Two things need to be praised as "substantial gifts to humanity" - Velcro and wheels on luggage.

I will skip the three-hour flight delay and just say the snack food vendors did quite well. My wife and I took turns walking down the concourse to surprise each other with a snack. (If you think I'm large, I'm not really, just the "munch while you read" type.)

I will call the airline a "herding company." I convinced my wife to get to the airport early so we could get a good seat. We were in line and the second family to receive our pass. We took turns, waiting while other people walked around.

Time passed and then the fun began. The flight attendants changed the gate. We were now looking over many heads as we were herded to the other gate. We brought our own Subway sandwiches and they were especially safe because security x-rayed them at the checkpoint.

Four and a half hours later we landed. We were herded off the plane to find our suitcases and wait for the tour bus to drop us at our hotel. I was warned not to drink the water. So we eagerly paid the two dollars for bottled water. The sun was hot.

Our hotel was great – marble floors, stained glass windows and an exchange rate that changed hourly. We had two baths, a bedroom and a step up to the living room. We arranged our clothes and went out to the pool. We met another couple and they became our travel buddies. We rented a cab driver for only 15 dollars a day. I do not know how he did it, but every time we walked outside, he was ready to take us. He had an opinion about everything we did. He warned us of the "switch" which the vendors did. He cautioned us not to drink the water and we did not.

Our travel buddy was a small deli owner so he wanted to see how the locals prepared and served their food, and also to taste it. We learned many things. Other countries do not consider hygiene the way Americans do. When a family of four got up from the table, the father and mother had not used their knife and spoon, some napkins were left unfolded and the bread plates were untouched. You get the picture.

The bus boy went to the table and proceeded to clear it. He was busy moving used plates, glasses and silverware. Like a puzzle, he left many items on the table. My buddy noticed that some of knives and plates left behind after the reset had been used by the younger members of the family.

The fun in a pizza parlor is watching the pizza man throw the pizza dough, side to side and up and down. We watched as we talked. The pizza man's friend got his attention during a throw and the pizza soared like a frisbee, landing partly on the table but mostly on the floor. We looked at each other and walked to the front door. We figured he picked up the dough, spread it on the pan and added the sauces. We took our bottled water and fled.

Guess who was waiting for us? Our telepathic cabby pulled up to the curb and off we went. We chose to eat at the hotel. The restaurant was glistening from the lights through the stained glass windows that surrounded the eating area. Waiters were meticulously dressed; the service was excellent. Because the food was so great, we all decided to have dessert. Our friends ordered rum and cokes, my wife a piña-colada and I ordered the chocolate cake. When the dessert was delivered it was still cold, most likely from being refrigerated. I dug in with the fork. My buddy said, "That cake looks green." I responded, "No, the stained glass windows are playing tricks on everything." I ate on. He reached over and knocked the cake on its side. It had the shade of moldy green.

One thing always sticks out in my mind. I was sick for at least a month after the trip. Doctor said, "Parasites."

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