Fowl Play – Kalaheo, Hawaii, USA

The first of the gallery started showing up on number 5. Just a few here and there. But their numbers gradually increased as we played out the final holes. A few more on number 6. Even more on 7, and by the time we reached 8, they were surrounding the green. No, they weren't golf fans (and we sure weren't professional golfers!). They were….CHICKENS? Yep, wild, feral chickens, roaming free-range style around the Kukuiolono Park Golf course on the island of Kauai. The place was infested with them.

While most of the golf courses on Kauai were in the get-out-of-town $50-$150 range for green fees, Kukuiolono was one of the greatest bargains in golf anywhere – $7 green fees! (For ALL day!) $6 club rentals! $1 pull cart rental, which you best be taking unless you want your clothes permanently stained from Kauai's famous "red dirt", which sticks to your golf bag, then rubs off on you! My canvas sneakers retained a permanant reddish-brown tint around the edges which later caused many "hmm, I wonder what HE stepped in" looks.

The course, while not nearly as upscale as most of its island brethren, it's fun, funky, scenic, and especially on the few holes that border the ocean, extremely windy. Ancient Hawaiian tribal rocks adorn the fairway along hole number 3, and a Japanese garden, (where Walter D. McBryde, the original owner is buried!) sits by the tee on number 8. But get your zen while you can. On holes 4, 5 and 6 the Gods will demand their sacrifices.

This was in the form of four golf balls on 5, that despite my wicked hook, were swept far right by the gusting wind into the Pacific. People spend thousands of dollars to do the same thing off the back of cruise ships, and I got to do it for a measly seven clams!

The Gods were eventually appeased and I was allowed to skull a line drive a few feet off the ground and eventually reach my destination, hole number 5. And that's where our feathered fans began joining the fun, one by one, hole by hole. Just like in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds! Spooky!

As far as galleries go, the chickens were a well behaved if generally disinterested group. They were quiet, stayed out of our putting lines, and didn't poop on the greens. But then, they weren't serving alcohol on the course either. A great golfing experience for….er, chickenfeed.

Contact Info
Kukuiolono Golf Course
854 Puu Road, Kalaheo, HI 96741
Phone: 808-332-9151

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