European Backpacker's Medley - Europe

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Europe While all backpackers can be labeled as just that, a backpacker, the thousands of individuals who embark on adventures to Europe are as diverse as an "International Day" potluck. How on earth could people from all over the world be smushed into one defining group? They can't, and after some traveling as a "backpacker" I have divided the genre into 5 sub-categories: Down and Dirty, High Maintenance, Party Animal, Extreme Adventurist, and Idealist. The Down and Dirty backpacker goes to extremes to do everything the absolute cheapest way possible. These "backpackers" can often be found congregating at campsites or sleeping "for free" in train stations or on park benches. Never one to splurge, this often dirty creature thinks nothing of unwashed clothes and an unusual diet of McDonald's and sketchy tap water. They will sacrifice going inside a tourist attraction ( A 5 euro entrance fee is highway robbery!) and just take a picture of the outside and move on. These people can come in very handy: they always know where to get the cheapest groceries and which days museums are free, for example. If invited to go out to eat at a restaurant they may laugh at you and say no way!, but don't be insulted, smuggle them back some bread from the table and you have made a friend for life. Some may shudder to think of living in such self-induced deprivation, but for some backpacking across Europe is a sort of pilgrimage, and a little self-denial can't hurt, right? A natural enemy of the Down and Dirties is the High Maintenance group. These people (usually girls, but not always!) are peacocks: they love to show off. They are instantly recognizable, with nice clothes, perfect hair and a strutting confidence that shouts, "look how euro trendy I am!" If you do not belong to this category and have the misfortune of sharing a room with these peacocks, you will have to suffer through a deluge of whining complaints accompanied by the constant blaring of a hairdryer. Heaven help you if their hair-straightener breaks. If this happens leave the room immediately as it induces instant panic! These beautiful creatures may make you feel inferior but don't be fooled, underneath the make-up and fake Fendi sunglasses they are just as uncomfortable in the new foreign environment as you are. All backpackers can easily recognize the Party Animal, and it may be the most common group. This group has a tendency to destroy restful slumber and leave dorm rooms smelling like cheap booze, but you have to hand it to them, they always seem to be having a good time. The Party Animal generally pretends only vague interest in the awe-inspiring, ancient history of Europe. Unimpressed by the relics of old, the main goal of the Party Animal is to get as drunk as he can every night. His souvenirs from Europe are not the usual postcard, swiss army knife, and Ciao Ciao! T-Shirt, but rather as many "Oh man, you wouldn't believe this" stories as possible. Party animals are easy to spot and flock to places like Amsterdam, Barcelona and Ibiza, leaving heart-broken High Maintenance girls in their wake. Never one to fear alcohol poisoning, or getting mugged during a drunken late-night stumble home, this group is mainly nocturnal and sadly leave Europe with only vague, foggy memories. The Extreme Adventure group is easily confused with the Party Animal but there is one distinct difference: Adventurists party with a purpose, a celebration of victory! Sky diving, bungee jumping, alligator wrestling, heli-skiing and death-defying acts of all sorts are on the adventurist holiday to-do list. It is not known what drives these people to risk life and limb, or what, exactly, they are trying to prove, but it is widely acknowledged that it is best to stay out of their way. Adventurists love being the center of attention and telling their amazing stories to anyone who will listen. Generally good guys with a gusto for life, and tempting fate, this is a fun group to go to the bar with. Just beware of letting them talk you into joining them! Lastly there is the Idealist, an elusive creature with little or no interest in your opinion...on anything. Whatever you do, don't bring up any touchy world issue with these people as it sends them into a frenzy. Idealists tend to have very firm beliefs in one area and only vague feelings towards all others. Because this group is so hard to describe, I'm going to give a specific example of a backpacker I met recently and who I would put in this category, we'll call him *Jack (*Names have been changed to protect the innocent!) Jack was traveling because he was sure the world was on the brink of disaster, global warming, war on terror, etc. He wanted to see everything "before it was too late." His dream was to move to New Zealand because, and this is exactly what he actually said, "There is this dam in China and if it breaks its going to submerge, like, everything, and only New Zealand won't be underwater." When I first met Jack I thought he was decidedly insane, or at least on something, but after I got to know him a little better I realized he was just agitated that the world didn't fit into his "ideal." It is important to treat these people with care, you never know when they are going to snap. Although many more categories could be added, most backpackers will fit into one of these five groups. A lot of people may fit into more then one group, but that is one of the great things about backpacking. You meet new people every day, people who have no previous knowledge of who you really are, so it's a fresh start with each new morning. And hey, if you want to be left alone just tell someone about the dam in China and they will probably move away slowly and leave you in peace.


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