Ocho Locos en Costa Rica – Costa Rica

By: Susan Gottfried

Ocho Locos en Costa Rica: The Rojo Chapeaux Terrorize the Tropics
Costa Rica

The Adventures of Elizabeth, Debby, Lesli, Leslie, Linda, Maria, Pat, and Susan.

October 3, 2005. Eight women (one very drunk & worried about the flight) board a Martinair flight to San Jose, Costa Rica. Several issues, lickings and A, B, C, and Deeeeeeeee’s later (ya’ hadda be there), they arrived and were whisked away by private coach to Orchideas Inn, home of the Marilyn Monroe Bar, for one night.

Orchideas was very nice. The beds and the food were okay and the two dogs were real sweeties. The grounds were lovely, and a great first introduction to Costa Rica. In the morning the women were picked up by Eduardo, Juan, and a whole mini-bus from Costa Coach just for them.

The ride to Arenal was uneventful. Plenty of beautiful scenery and new sights, with a great stop in Sarchi for souvenir shopping. Sarchi is where most of the souvenirs sold throughout Costa Rica are made. It’s also the home of the painted oxcart, and one can view the artists at work. The women THOUGHT they stocked up pretty well on souvenirs and gifts for the folks back home, all at very good prices. Pat bought a humongous handmade salad bowl, and Leslie managed to spend more money than anyone else but doesn’t know how she did it. As they neared Montana de Fuego, Juan pulled the bus over to the side of the road and Edwardo pointed out a sloth in a tree.

Arrival at Montana de Fuego Lodge and Resort was a lovely surprise. The women were given four double junior suites overlooking Arenal volcano, which just happens to be very visible and very active. The cabinas were comfortable, with good beds and nice big bathrooms. Each had a covered porch on the front and a little balcony on the back. There was even satellite TV and air conditioning, a rarity for Costa Rica. Only three drawbacks: no window screens, there were never enough towels, and there was no place to put the suitcases but on the floor. The resort had beautiful grounds, full of wildlife, birds, and flowers, always overshadowed by the volcano. Howler monkeys greet the day at 6 each morning. There were horses in the pasture at the back door and hummingbirds in the heliconias at the front door.

There was a great pool area with a full service bar with one side adjoining the pool, so you can swim up for a drink. There was also a covered hot tub, a kiddy pool, and showers. A wide, paved path lead to the sauna, cold plunge pool, and En Gadi spa, where Pat and Susan had hand and foot reflexology and back massages. Leslie had a reflexology foot treatment. En Gadi is pretty expensive by Costa Rican standards; the prices are similar to prices at home.

Late one afternoon the neighboring finca’s horses escaped and stampeded through the resort grounds. It was quite entertaining and there were no injuries or damages.

While at Montana de Fuego, the women took advantage of several of the tours the resort offers. Pat, Leslie, and Susan took the morning volcano ride. Three hours on horseback up the side of Arenal to an observation deck above Arenal’s old crater, which is now a lake full of water-lilies. During the ride, Arenal grumbled a lot and spit out some gases and ash. The horses were provided by the finca next to the resort and were in very good condition and well mannered. The same cannot be said of some of the riders. Most had not ridden before and acted pretty silly much of the time. There were 15 riders on the tour, which was really too many. However, it was a good ride with a lot of exposure to the countryside around Arenal and a few good gallops. Susan had some difficulty mounting; no matter how many times she said “Empuje mi culo” (push my ass), no one would do it, so she pulled all the muscles in her stomach and back getting on her horse.

Maria, Debby, Linda, and Lesli went on a zip-line tour of the rain-forest canopy. It was a wild experience, and they all came back with bruises from hanging upside down and sore arms from braking themselves. All agreed it was wonderful and were glad they had done it. Maria and Linda said “Never again!”

Elizabeth and Leslie went on the white water kayak tour. They returned all wound up, excited, and exhausted. Brave, experienced Elizabeth initially refused the helmet, life vest, and double kayak. When the guides donned their own helmets and life vests, she changed her mind. She ended up falling out of the kayak and getting caught in a hole under a rock. Without that helmet, she might not be with us today. She found several bruises later to attest to her mishap. Both agreed it was wonderful. Coming from rock-less Florida, they found the river to be very exciting.

Susan, Pat, Elizabeth, and Leslie went to Baldi Hot Springs one night for a fabulous dinner, full therapeutic massages, and soaks in the hot springs. That was so wonderful, none of them wanted to leave. All four gave rave reviews to both the dinner and the massages.

Debby, Linda, Lesli, and Susan went on the boat tour of Cano Negro Preserve, which turned out to be very similar to the Everglades. It’s a pleasant, relaxing ride with a lunch break at a local home. Lunch was terrific except for the weird corn juice served as a drink. A nice easy way to end the stay at Montana de Fuego.

The food at Montana de Fuego is fabulous. The woman all became addicted to the guacamole and not a day went by that at least one of them didn’t have an order of guacamole and chips. Staying a the resort can be all inclusive or not. It is such a nice place and the food is so good, it would be worth the all inclusive package. Unnecessarily, everyone went into La Fortuna several times. A taxi was less than five dollars each way. It’s mostly a tourist town, only about three blocks long. Plenty of souvenir shopping, a small grocery store, and a pharmacy.

There are a lot of feral dogs all over Costa Rica. In La Fortuna, someone puts big open bags of dog food out in the park for them, and many people talk to them and pet them.

Eduardo had been to Arenal many times and had never seen the volcano. Susan had been there in December of 2004 and never saw the volcano. On THIS trip, the volcano was visible every day, rumbled every day, erupted violently once, and the lava flow was visible at night. That much visibility and action is rare; the women were very lucky to have seen so much.

On Saturday, October 8, the bus returned to take the women to Quepos and Manuel Antonio. Eduardo told them the drive would take 4.5 hours. Seven hours later, the women began to understand the meaning of “Tico Time”. In Eduardo’s defense, though, the women did insist on stopping for more souvenir shopping, smoke breaks, Taracoles River crocodile sighting, and lunch. The roads were very bad. There had been serious flooding and major mudslides on the Pacific coast. Several bridges had been washed out and crossing the temporary (very scary) bridges was very slow going, especially for a bus. Poor Eduardo and Juan missed the first half of the U.S.-Costa Rica world soccer match, but Costa Rica won, so they were happy anyway.

The women have reservations at Buena Vista Villas at Tulemar, a vacation home development between Quepos and Manuel Antonio. There are two 2-story, 3 bed villas and one single story 2 bed villa for them. Susan and Lesli stayed in the lower story efficiency rooms with a single king size bed. Lesli felt especially blessed with her honeymoon suite – this was the first time she’d been all alone since her children were born. Everyone else had full villas with kitchens, living rooms, and 2 queen size beds. This place was very luxurious. It does not have the same amenities as Montana de Fuego, but the quality and luxury of the accommodations more than made up for that. The only drawback here was the steepness of the paths around the property (the site is nearly vertical) and the difficulty of maneuvering luggage about.

All of the villas have a big front balcony on each level overlooking the rain-forest and the Pacific Ocean. Each balcony had a hammock, plenty of seating, and a ceiling fan. Each bedroom had a ceiling fan. Each bed was topped with a fluffy mattress pad, which was covered by thick, soft, high-thread-count cotton sheets and a fluffy white duvet. The pillows were new and firm. Each room was air conditioned and had satellite TV. The full villas even had ice makers. The walls facing the ocean were all glass, either windows or doors. There were abundant towels, thick and soft, and arranged in silly swan or flower shapes on each bed. The bathrooms were huge, with both regular shower heads and overhead rain shower heads. There was plenty of room to do laundry and still take a shower, and there was plenty of hot water.

The restaurant here was fine too. The guacamole was not as good as Montana de Fuego’s, but that didn’t stop anyone from eating it. Elias, the bartender, introduced the group to Guaro, which is a Costa Rican liquor made from sugar cane. Mixed with lime juice and sugar and lots of ice, it makes a very refreshing and very intoxicating drink. On their last night, the women consumed two PITCHERS of it.

BVV has a private beach, reached by a long, winding, slippery path or Tulemar’s shuttle van. At low tide the beach was wide and pristine with thousands of tiny hermit crabs. There was a cabana with a full service bar, and plenty of lounge chairs and umbrellas and snorkeling gear for the guests to use. At high tide the beach doesn’t exist. Coincidentally, the low tide was at noon, so there was ample beach time for all.

Tulemar hosts bands of squirrel monkeys, white-face monkeys, and coatimundis. They visited every day. The squirrel monkeys even came to the restaurant several times and to the roofs of the villas. Howler monkeys could be heard in the distance on most days. Birds were everywhere, all the time. Pat, Leslie, and Susan even got to see toucans. There are large iguanas all over the place. Leslie befriended one, named it Fred, and fed it several times a day with any greens she could salvage from meals. Fred started waiting for her to appear. On the last day, she learned that Fred is really Maria and is well known by the staff.

Pat, Leslie, and Susan went for a horseback ride on the beach. The guide, a local boy named Walter, was very good and pointed out numerous sloths, monkeys, lizards, and birds. The horses came from Marlboro Stables and were in disappointing condition. They were quite skinny and dirty with numerous bald spots on their rumps and faces. Once the ride started, it was obvious that the horses were not well trained. Leslie and Susan’s horses walked as though their feet hurt. Their hooves were quite long and shod, something that cannot be good for beach riding. The thought was that the more riders that pay to ride the horses, the more money there will be for feed and care, so the women went for what was supposed to be a three hour ride.

After an hour and a half riding it began to rain. It was obvious that the horses were not happy and Susan was still suffering from painful stomach and back muscles, so they decided to return to the stables. The price was only 35 dollars each, so no refunds were requested, and Walter was assured repeatedly that they had fun and they were pleased with his guiding skills. However, due to the condition of the horses, they would not recommend Marlboro Stables to anyone. Equus Stables came highly recommended, but was closed due to a small mudslide which was inundated the barn.

There were numerous trips made into Quepos for souvenirs and to stock the kitchens. Most trips included a stop or two at a bar and/or restaurant. Quepos is essentially a surfer town with many North American visitors and residents. It’s much bigger than La Fortuna, with several grocery stores and two pharmacies. Feral dogs in Quepos were numerous and neglected. Their conditions were so bad that Leslie broke into tears on her second visit to town and refused to return.

Susan made several attempts to arrange tours of Manuel Antonio Park, but the conditions of the trails were such that the guides were refusing to lead hikes. Unfortunate, but the weather conditions had really been quite bad and the park had a lot of damage. As an alternative, Susan, Pat, Leslie, Linda, and Debby went on the Rainmaker Preserve hanging bridge canopy tour. That was very exciting. There was evidence of many washouts along the trails and several mudslides, but the hanging bridges were fantastic and offered great views of the rain-forest. One of the largest known colonies of leaf-cutter ants was alongside the trail. Many birds and butterflies were seen, including blue morphos. The guide managed to catch a poison dart frog, and spotted an eyelash viper that was close to the trail.

There was a great deal of nothing done at BVV, well deserved and necessary. No one was ready to end the trip, but real life sometimes gets in the way of one’s chosen reality!

On the morning of the 12^th the bus returned for the final leg of the trip, one more night at Orchideas. Everyone was so tired they did nothing but eat dinner, sorted and packed souvenirs and “stuff”, and went to sleep.

The return flight to the U.S. was uneventful, though a bundle of walking sticks were abandoned at the airport. Everyone is home now. No one can stop talking about the trip and everyone agrees that they will return to Costa Rica. No one contracted any tropical diseases or got a serious sunburn or brought home anything worse than bruises, sore muscles, and too many souvenirs.

Patrick Hewitt of Costa Rica Travel Exchange arranged the trip according to Susan’s specifications, but much better than her original plan. It met and exceeded everyone’s expectations. Most of the women had never been out of the U.S. Most of the women had never stayed at a luxury resort. Everyone felt pampered and special. The Costa Ricans all thought 8 lady millionaires were in town, and treated them accordingly, though the trip actually cost LESS than 2000 dollars each, including airfare.

The women are very grateful to Pat Hewitt and now they know why Susan is Queen of the Women of the Rojo Chapeau. It would be extremely difficult to arrange a better vacation.