#18 You Know You’ve Been Partying Too Hard in London – Diary of a …

18: You Know You’ve Been Partying Too Hard in London…

…when you’ve been there three times in four months and you’ve yet to see a historical landmark!

I think it’s safe to assume that most people who visit London take in at least some of the city’s famous museums, landmarks or theatre – but not me. Not that I intended to miss them. I’d been to London before and was looking forward to visiting the British Museum again or catching a half-price play. It’s just that time just seemed to get away from me somehow.

While I missed the landmarks, I did get to experience the neighborhoods thanks to “heaps” of friends who let me crash with them. My first stop was Tooting Broadway, home to Brian and his flatmates, Skye, Darcy and Sue, who showed their Aussie hospitality even though they’d never met me. Tooting Broadway was a predominately Indian neighborhood that carried a faint whiff of curry 24/7.

Thanks to Julia and her sis Liz, I also got to live the posh life at Nottinghill Gate – yep, the neighborhood made famous by the movie. They were extremely generous, letting me use their flat as a home base from September to November. Julia said it was ’cause I do dishes and vacuum… I musta done a great job at it because Liz even gave up her bedroom to me!

And then many a lost weekend was spent at Bridget’s hostel in Earl’s Court. The place was overrun by Kiwis, Aussies and South Africas. Change the title of the song “Hotel California” to “Hotel Meridien”, and you’ll get the picture of the place.

There’s a children’s song I learned called “London Bridge Is Falling Down.”
Xiang Ye lived just west of London Bridge at the Shadwell stop. But that part of
the neighborhood was undergoing massive renovation and brought to mind that
song…

And my last home in London was in East Putney at Dave’s and his flatmates. I’d met Dave and Brian in Ecuador four months previously, and they’d promised me great partying if I came to London. They just didn’t seem the hard-core type on the boat in the Galapagos – did I ever underestimate them! Together with their cohort Dean, they were unstoppable partying machines. Just goes to show that first appearances can be deceiving.

It’s from Brian, Dave and Dean that I obtained the following top 10, with a few changes to include my experiences with them. So here’s to you guys – cheers (as you say) for the awesome time. I’ll call when I get out of rehab. And now:

You Know You’ve Been Partying Too Hard in London When:

10. It takes until Wednesday afternoon to stop shaking from the weekend’s events.

9. You’re always seen with a bottle of Gatorade/Lucozade in hand between clubbing sessions in the vain hope of it sustaining your body through the punishment.

8. You spend more on £1 drinks on a Sunday than on weekly groceries.

7. You spend all DAY Sunday looking for an open dance club.

6. Neither the Church or Mass are religious experiences. Or at least not in the conventional sense (just don’t call the doormen “Father”).

5. You can’t be bothered to get off the crusty, broken couch you’re sitting on to go to bed.

4. On Sunday afternoon you realize you still have on the clothes you put on Friday night.

3. The clock reads 6:30 and it’s dark outside. You think you got up too early then look again and realize it says PM.

2. You can accurately navigate a city containing over 10 million people by referencing pubs and clubs you’ve visited.

And the #1 way you know you’ve been partying too hard in London is:

1. It’s 4:30AM and you’re begging a Queen’s Guard you’ve been partying with to drive you to the airport because you’ve just realized your flight’s in an hour…

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