Teesside, England – May 1999

By: Shaun Porritt

Well, I have the dubious honour of corresponding to this prestigious and honourable travel website.

Where from? An exotic location – Bali? No;

a cosmopolitan location – Brussels? No;

an adventurous location – Johannesburg? No.

I am situated in the North East of England. Please read on, though, it is one enigma of a place. My home is in Hartlepool (population 95,000 and home of the infamous monkey tale) in the area known as Teesside (population around 450,000), comprising Hartlepool, Middlesbrough, Stockton on Tees and Redcar & Cleveland.

Hartlepool is 15 miles north of Middlesbrough (the football team with a lot of money and nerve). Fifteen miles to the north is Sunderland and a further 10 miles to Newcastle. Fifteen miles west of Hartlepool is Durham.

The area itself is, in my opinion, one of the the most diverse in the country. Traditionally, the North East of England was an industrial metropolis focusing on the heavy industry – ship building, steel production and coal mining.

These markets are gone, only a couple of pits, some sparse ship building and a much smaller scale steel industry exist (although still regarded as the best in the world).

You can go from a city to industry, beaches, cliffs, moors and dales, rivers and villages within an hour of virtually any part of the area.

Much of this industry, certainly on Teesside, was replaced with the chemical industry with, at one point, ICI employing 25,000 people. ICI are now withdrawing and selling out to various multi-nationals.

Oil & Gas play a significant role as the North Sea oil fields continue to yield the old “black gold” (must be said with one eye slightly closed, several blackened teeth and a mouth full of chewing tobacco).

The Nissan car plant at Sunderland continues to flourish as it is the most efficient car plant in Europe. How secure its’ future will become once it is no longer so cost effective is the real issue.

Such foreign investment is a worry throughout the country not just the north east. A once proud area, such as Hartlepool who built the first oil tanker for Shell and were one of the first towns attacked in both world wars, the same area gets all exited when Samsung are going to open a microwave assembly plant.

Foreign companies reap many financial incentives from our government and once the grants and free rent have run out, they can no longer fulfil the proposed expansion promise and in many cases pulls out completely, leaving unemployment, empty green filed sites and a hole in local council coffers.

Maybe it is only fair, after years of Britannia raping the rest of the world for all they have, the rest of the world are now raping us – perhaps perverse justice.

Perhaps I should not have started this piece with info on the industrial side of the area, it may put readers off. After all this is a travel website.

However, in my eyes (I have 3 as the result of Teesside once having Europe’s largest chemical complex), it has to be mentioned first as it is the side that most people from the rest of the country recognise, failing to register what else the area has to offer.

At only 2 hours from the Lake District, Northumbria & Scottish borders, Yorkshire Dales and Leeds / Manchester; 1 hour from York and less to Newcastle, Hartlepool is ideally situated for travel to some of northern England’s key attractions for leisure and history.

Even closer is the North York Moors National Park, Teesdale and Weardale, and miles of coast line, all within 30 minutes of Hartlepool.

Even deep within the chemical industry, nature does flourish despite what furore the scaremongers whip up (unfortunately I am not a fan of Greenpeace, and can fully justify my feelings if anyone is interested).

The actual chemical complex is called Seal Sands and every year scores of seals come here to pup. There is a bird breeding marsh that has rare breeds that cause much excitement to scores of ‘twitchers’ with their phallic lenses. Kestrels hover and dive for prey within perimeter fences of pharmaceutical plants, all this wild life makes a mockery of the doomsday talk of pollution junkies.

Even on the chemical plants there are numerous foxes and badgers that thrive, even to the extent of knowing if it is Chinese or Indian on the menu for them as the nightshift will leave the leftovers in a designated place and the workers watch from afar as they tuck into the continental tit bits.

One further point, a fox along with other wildlife is much safer here than in the true countryside. Why is this, you say? How can this be I hear you say? Will this guy just get on, I also here you say?

Well the reason is, there is no upper class inbreed chasing them about on horse-back or blowing them to bits with a 12 gauge all in the name of tradition.

I also support the re-introduction of dangerous animals to our countryside, in particular wild boars, wolves and even bears (I realise bears were not native to this Isle but were introduced by the Romans).

This way it will keep the outdoors sacred and all the old skills will be needed to survive, keeping old people, children and obnoxious day trippers well
out of the way.

People have it too easy over here. There is very little danger to be faced and this results in people having no concept of the dangers most countries in the world have. Even the climate is safe, with only the Highlands of Scotland posing extreme danger.

Enough preaching. As you can tell, I have frustration at the way that Hartlepool and Teesside are portrayed, but really I am glad.

As long as folks portray this as a desolate industrial wasteland, then the secret will remain. The foolish southerners (who believe England only exists in the home counties and give Brits abroad a bad name), in their stale city existence devoid of nature and even more devoid of human nature, will stay festering in their money driven, dog eat dog, material society and allow us to take advantage of a reduced cost of living and a higher standard of living.

There is nothing that you can do in London which cannot be done within 1 hour of Hartlepool, the same amount of time taken to traverse about 5 miles in our glorious capital.

Future writing will be about specific places and areas of interest. This piece is purely a background to the area and myself.

While I am down from my soapbox, I will tell you something about myself. I am 31, work as a draughtsman / project engineer for a design consultancy to the chemical industry.

Left school and studied Computer Technology, Mechanical & Production Engineering, Management Studies, 3D Design and Philosophy of Religion.

I own my house that I share with two cats and sometimes my girlfriend (of course she has equal rights as the cats).

Interests are as wide as can be although they are mostly controversial or at the very least away from the norm.

I support my local team Hartlepool United (currently battling to stay in the football league – Div 3), spend a lot of time in the Lake District and just generally being a nuisance.

At heart I am a biker, although circumstances (bike theft, stiffed by my insurance, an office job where I need a car and insufficient funds to have both) mean I long for the day when I will again, which will come with financial security.

How ironic, the icon of rebellious youth, of a rootless existence, of terrorising sleepy villages is really dependent on financial security – that’s life.

Mmmm, the boots question. I was a German Para boot man but I must admit to becoming slightly decadent in purchasing a pair of Karrimoor Munro’s, in Nubuck leather, steel stiffened soul and a Gore-Tex lining.

Before casting your displeasure on the Gore-Tex just think how beneficial it is to have a pair of boots that can hold around 3 pints of beer in them to drink in between the pub and the tent on a sweet summer’s evening with the milky way stretched out above.

As regards their ability to be worn on a night out….well you should see me in my 3 piece suit, adorned in my Munro’s. A classy gent indeed, fit for any theatre, restaurant or dance floor in the land.

More Info Links

Complete Teesside website – search engine of UK towns

General Interest of Teesside.