The basement bar of Bentley's, on the corner of Home and Tarvit streets, is a refuge for mike mavens.

7 August 2001
Mama Mia – Here I Go Again!
As the pubs and clubs in Edinburgh extend their opening hours for the festive season, those with a desire to perform outside of the Fringe gather for their 5 minutes of fame. Welcome to Bentley's – the venue where everybody discovers their ability to sing.

I'm sure you've all been to at least one karaoke bar, with groups of people fighting over the microphone to scream out the lyrics of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", or where someone decides to prove they are completely tone-deaf as the audience marvels or suffers in silence. Forget all this. The Edinburgh Festival is not a time for cringing, unless there is a healthy dose of abdominal-tightening laughter involved.

At the end of Home Street, next to the King's Theatre, lies a small pub that looks like any other. Entering the pub rarely makes a memorable impression, for despite the fact that it is a cheery pub with a welcoming ambiance, these are both qualities that Edinburgh is not running low on. But walk down the stairs on a Tuesday night, enter the hole in the ground – which regardless of numerous attempts to appear trendy – simply isn't, and this is what you will find: Gregor and Calverto. This obnoxious-yet-lovable duo has been running karaoke sessions in Edinburgh for years now, and always with the same result: at least one performance of "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights" per night (lasting a grand total of 12 minutes).

Fortunately, this song and most others are performed by extremely talented people, whose enthusiasm shines through even the odd false note. And the best part is, you're never alone.

No, I'm not referring to kind sympathy. What I'm talking about is the fact that the choice of songs and the mix of people result in the fact that everybody is singing along – whether you like it or not! You will rarely see such a thing as a bad performance, because the only thing that could silence this crowd is a singer that possesses the voice of Dusty Springfield and the looks of Maria Carey... and even then, silence is not guaranteed.

What is guaranteed is performances from the "regulars". You've got Ollie and Lindsay taking turns doing their own thing – until they can't resist the temptation anymore, and that's when their magic card is pulled out: Meatloaf.

Twelve minutes later, the members past and present of the Napier University Drama Society (whose most recent Fringe performance resulted in four stars from The Scotsman), are there to perform anything from REM favourites such as "Everybody Hurts" and "Losing My Religion" (with their own choice of lyrics), to the more upbeat "That's Amore" and "California Dreaming". The NDS' Scandinavian division (usually excluding moi) will undoubtedly include a performance of one of Britney's hits, whether it be "Stronger" or "Make My Boobies One More Size" and, naturally, the unforgettable "Thank Abba For The Music". Despite the fact that I should not even sing in the shower, never mind in public with a microphone in my hand, I somehow managed to get conned into joining the Abba medley. How it happened I don't know, but what I do know is that Abba never fails to lift spirits... nor increase sales of spirits...

You see, you don't have to pay a fortune to be a star at the festival. All you have to do is sit down with a drink, fill in a piece of paper, put the microphone to your mouth, and hope for the best. The stage is all yours!

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