Don't Mention the War – A Shameful European Rail Adventure

Review by Philip Blazdell

Following on from the success of their first book (Don't Lean out of the Window) the boys are back for another junk-food powered spin around some of Europe's most attractive cities. The author's note for this book say that, 'writing the first book brought back so many wonderful memories of busking around Europe, getting arrested in beautiful locations, scavenging unsuccessfully for girls and getting diseased feet that we wanted to experience it all again. But by the time we came to write about the second trip Bill Bryson had come onto the scene and taken up all the space on the world's travel bookshelves. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to read some of his work in order to emulate a writing style that was proving so popular with those who knew no better. I think Don't Mention The War takes Bryson's sardonicism and adapts it for a more youthful readership, resulting in a book that it is deliberately offensive to everyone on the planet, but does so in a charming, ironic way.'

And indeed it is offensive to everyone, except, of course, Americans, whom the boys believe, quite correctly, are far too insensitive to realise how totally obnoxious they are when abroad (all together now, 'Gee, you guys...'). If you are French, or Belgian, or German, or Bruce Forsythe then you will probably be terribly upset by this book. However, if you are English, and know your place in the world (i.e. the top of the global pile) you will find this book hysterically funny and should refrain from reading it in public places. I especially enjoyed the drunken policeman, who crashes his car story and their hippy-trippy adventures involving drugs in Amsterdam. This is a major difference from the first book and the boys do seem to be even more wild this time.

Although the authors lack the polished charm of traditional travel books (I would love for them to meet someone like Peter Moore on the road and see what they make of his sloppy prose and ill-informed enthusiasm for Europe) and you wont find pages of descriptions of wonderful architecture or famous works of art, you still end up wishing you'd gone with them as they warmed the benches of pretty French villages and gaped endlessly at Dutch girls. You might have been terminally embarrassed to be with them at times but they would certainly not have been dull travelling companions.

This book is every bit as good as their previous book and should be essentially reading to all travellers considering a Eurail jaunt (well, with the obvious exceptions to Americans who might need help with some of the longer words. Oh, and of course people from Belgium, but that goes without saying, doesn't it?).

• Don't Mention the War – A Shameful European Rail Adventure by Stewart Ferris and Paul Bassett