Snow adorns the tops of mountains otherwise blanketed with lush rainforest. Palm trees and giant ferns grow among groves of pine. The ocean spears her deep watery fingers past the sheer cliffs of southern fjords. The scalding steam from bubbling hot springs blows across the ice-cold surface of placid, half-mile-deep lakes. In the cities, British efficiency exists in harmony with Scottish/Irish charm. Deserts and glaciers. Waterfalls and volcanoes. Mix in a few million sheep, vast grassland plains, some exuberant native island culture and you've got a good start on New Zealand.

From the north: Auckland, the country's largest city. Here our friend Jen greets us at the airport, having just flown in from Los Angeles herself. A few days are spent meandering through the shadow of the city's skyscrapers, crossing the amoebic waters of the bay by ferry and observing the city from above through the 5-foot-thick glass flooring of Auckland's Sky Tower, one of the world's tallest buildings. Next we cram inside the smallest conceivable plane to jaunt down to the diminutive city of Levin. Sounds simple enough, but this plane was so tiny the pilot spent a majority of the flight avoiding the peril presented by larger, predatory flying insects. In the cabin Jen and Kim tried to keep their lunch down after each bit of turbulence sent us falling a few thousand feet while Sean simply exclaimed, "Again!" After a bumpy landing that had us all praying to the patron saint of propeller-driven aircraft, we tumbled into the welcoming arms of Rex and Helen.

Rex and Helen are the parents of one of Kim's bridesmaids, and no sooner were joyous introductions made when they whisked us off to their charming home in the country and absolutely spoiled us rotten with their warm Kiwi hospitality. Rex made certain our constitutions were in good shape by assisting us in the consumption at least 15 pots of tea a day while Helen kept us all fed and humble about our card-playing skills. But the highlight of Levin probably occurred when visiting the farm of some other friends, Ron and Adelle. We were treated to a FABULOUS lamb dinner (you haven't had lamb until you've had fresh New Zealand land from someone's farm) and Jen managed to corner a 2-day old sheep, catch and deposit it into the arms of one very, VERY happy Kim ("Yayyyyy!! I'm holding a baby sheep! I'm holding a baby sheeeep!!!").

From Levin, we sped down to Wellington, New Zealand's windy capital city, located at the southern tip of the north island. Here our friend Aubie joined us, coming in from a sleepless flight from San Francisco. Jen, Kim and Sean took the Aubie for some food (Aubies get really unhappy if you don't feed them) and then followed it into WETA, the special effects company responsible for producing the three Lord of the Rings movies. Aubie knows a certain WETA employee who graciously toured us through the building, instructing us not to look at any of the computer screens where fabulous special effects were being applied to footage from the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel. We contented ourselves with staring at the suits of armour, weapons, and fantastic works of art on every wall and were rewarded at the end of our tour with the screening of a few reels of unseen production footage about special effects used in the first movie. Now we know how they made Bilbo look so much smaller than Gandalf in the beginning of the movie...apparently, WETA can shrink people who look at forbidden special effects material from upcoming movies.

We didn't see ANYTHING...what second movie?

The high-speed ferry to the south island (affectionately referred to as "the vomit comet" by locals) travelled under thankfully favorable conditions and the sun even showed itself to reveal our first glimpse of the spectacular geography of the south island. We hired a car (nick-named K.T., or "Katie,"...ya know, for "Kiwi Transport") and skedaddled down to Nelson, gawking at the scenery the whole winding way.

Nelson is a town filled with artists and surrounded by wineries. We stayed in "The Palace," a fabulous suite in a hostel that had two bedrooms, a full kitchen and a living room for just $10/each a night! The weather stayed sunny and the town charmed everyone. Sean and Aubie were so thrilled by the place, they decided to jump out of an airplane for a better look. Jen and Kim wisely stayed on the ground, perusing antique shops.

From Nelson, we headed down the west coast and into the infamously nasty weather that has been attempting to wash the western seaboard into the ocean for as long as anyone can remember. Unphased, we donned wetsuits, safety helmets and headlamps for a close-up look at some stalactites and stalagmites on a spelunking trip through an ancient cave in Greymouth, wandered through a mining museum in Westport and Sean and Aubie made sure the staff at any breweries along the way didn't get lonely (hey, it's the off-season! Brewers get lonely too!). If you ever go to New Zealand, make sure to try Monteith's Original ale (their dark is amazing as well) and McDuff's limited edition Black Velvet.

Unfortunately, the rain turned many of our sight-seeing attempts into observations such as, "Hey, now THIS impenetrable fog is MUCH better than that impenetrable fog we saw 20 minutes ago!" So, with the Aubie at the wheel, we sped past a couple of shrouded glaciers and through an alpine pass on our way down to the southern fjords. Things didn't look too promising that evening as we scrambled through the downpour from our car into our lakeside cabin in Manapouri, but the following morning found the sun peering warily over the horizon down at our ferryboat. It would be impossible to aptly convey the spendor of New Zealand's fjordland in this update, it's simply too spectacular for words. We stood in the freezing wind on the top deck of the ship as all sensation in our exposed hands and noses faded, staring in open-mouthed wonder at the towering mountains and their perfect looking-glass reflections in the water around us. Rounded rainforest-draped islets leapt out of the deepest sections of the lake; impossibly perfect green island bubbles, like something out of a computer-generated version of primeval Earth.

Our ferry docked at the far end of the lake and we were driven through rainforest, over a man-made pass down to another ferryboat that toured us around the equally spectacular salt waters of Doubtful Sound for three hours. Doubtful Sound is one of the rainiest places in the entire world, with micro-weather systems blowing through every few minutes. We saw snowfall, bright sunshine, fog and rain...all within a period of 30 minutes. On the way back, we were allowed inside the power station that lies between Lake Manapouri and Doubtful Sound. The hidden station is only one of three such stations in the world, being built inside of a hollowed-out mountain.

From Fjordland, it was a quick drive across to the east coast city of Dunedin. As Mark Twain commented upon his visit here, "The people here are Scots. They left Scotland on their way to heaven and stopped here, thinking they'd arrived." Dunedin is a hip, bayside university town modeled after Edinburgh, chock full of stone buildings, cathedrals and examples of Victorian architecture. Cadbury has a chocolate confectionary in town (offering tours!), much to the delight of Jen and Kim. It is also home to the steepest street in the world, much to the dismay of K.T.'s brake pads and Aubie's lungs (yes, we couldn't stop the Aubie from leaping out of the car in a wild attempt to run up the steepest street in the world...he ran...well, most of the way).

Up until four years ago, Dunedin could also boast the southernmost whisky distillery in the world. Sadly, the factory that once generated the only single-malt whisky in the world regularly imported back to Scotland...is no more. Happily, your intrepid explorers discovered a forgotten bottle of the stuff in a local bottle shop (you know THAT's going up on the top shelf back home).

An excursion was made out on the Dunedin peninsula to see the world's rarest penguin species (the yellow-eyed penguin) and we certainly got up close and personal...within THREE FEET of a few birds from behind a constructed bird blind. The night before last, Sean recreated his patented backpacker's stew, a surprisingly delicious concoction he invented in Dingle, Ireland when the only ingredients available were local vegetables and beer (what else?). Complimented by Jen's best-in-the-world garlic bread, our travellers (and many new acquaintances in the hostel kitchen) have been well-fed for the past couple of nights.

A bit of Dunedin Simpson's trivia for you: as any Simpson's fan can tell you, Homer's favorite beer on the animated series is "Duff's." There is a brewery here in Dunedin that, after years of brewing under their family name "Duff," found themselves under threat of litigation from the creators of the Simpsons, who had taken out an international copyright on the name. The tiny Dunedin brewery was forced to change its name to "McDuff's" in order to avoid a lawsuit (along the same lines, a west coast NZ restaurant in the tiny town of Hollyford was forced to change its name when Planet Hollywood's owners threatened to sue them for naming their restaurant, "Planet Hollyford.").

Today we head north to the Anglican city of Christchurch, where we'll spend a few days before bidding a fond farewell to K.T. and flying up through Auckland on our way to the tropical islands of Fiji.

Questions?
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