1 Mar 2002
I just had to start this story off by lowering the tone just a tad.

"Sit & Smile" is what they call their bog roll over here. It's the brand name. You have just got to laugh... for one thing, what Thai toilet enables you to sit in the first place? And even when you can – who would? So with all this stench, squatting and the rest – who will be smiling either? So a more apt name would be "Squat and Squint".

Either way the Thai food brings out the best in you – and sometimes really quickly and without warning – so I was thinking of appealing to the public with a new competitive brand of toilet roll: "Sprint, Squat and Squint". And it will be 4-ply and not that half-ply-nothing.

This line of fire... reminds me that the toilets on Koh Pha Ngan during the night of the Full Moon Party (27 Feb 02) deserve mention in the line-up. If I didn't need the toilet so desperately after a bucket of Sang Som, paint-stripping rum, red bull and coke (you know how it is once you break the seal...), I would not have dared allow myself to wade through ankle-deep water and whatever else that I prefer not to think about, to get to a bog whose level had risen to the brim. Man – everybody has a threshold, and I was teetering on it 2 nights ago. And for this you pay 10 baht each time.

Besides the toilets I found this to be a fantastic party, after days of umming and ahhing about whether to go or not. We were staying on Koh Tao, a much quieter island aimed at serious diving and unwinding on the beach. So a 3-hour ferry across at 5pm, a full night partying on the beach and a 3-hour ferry back with a hangover at 8am the next day – required some convincing.

After all the publicity of the Full Moon parties I was convinced it just wasn't my scene, but to be honest there's a little something for everyone. There were thousands of people, ranging from hard-core die-hard travellers, to the English-Ibiza-weeklong-comatose party-goers. Everybody's really friendly and up for a good time. You can pick your music, your spot on the sand, any kind of food, all kinds of drink; it's very loud and everybody is dancing or already passed out on the beach. There are people swimming, some getting all-over Thai massages. Spotlights waving around, fireworks, messages in fire, neon lights and neon painted onto all the bodies around you – an attack of the senses. All this – right on the beach under the light of the full moon. Quite an experience, worth trying out if you get the chance.

So, when I wasn't partying on the island I was on Koh Tao doing some diving. Unfortunately being here around full moon time means some swells, which completely destroy visibility under the water. So although it was good to be diving again I can only say that diving could be better, but that is probably a matter of timing. Also, whale shark season only starts in March so I'm a few weeks early – timing really is everything!

I do try and not compare my trips, but I would have to put scuba diving here a lot further down the scale to diving in Zanzibar or the Red Sea. But if diving is not your thing (which is highly disapproved of in Koh Tao – in fact finding accommodation without the desire to dive there, is not impossible but difficult), then try renting a moped (150 baht a day). Definitely not for the faint-hearted, but there is enough sand for you to do "doughnuts" without even knowing how. I did a wheelie, pulling out in first and later a crash landing that cost me a knee along with some burns and bruises the shape of Thailand – I think I got away lightly. And I wondered why there were so many mangled travellers walking around Bangkok the day I got there... it's almost a given. When I took the bike back to the shop they charged me for the dented basket and the broken pedal – 400 baht – which I thought was fair. That is after all how they make their money, right?

Skippy and I have parted ways... this is however not a bad thing – it seems we have different agendas anyhow. We had a mix-up with visas to Vietnam which have completely different dates, and I would rather spend more time in Cambodia and Laos than lazing on the beach. So, I caught the overnight train up to Bangkok with Marc (Dutch guy we met in Bangkok) and arrived this morning. I highly recommend the sleeper trains – you get the best sleep to the clacketty-clack of the train. You sleep on clean sheets and have a cool breeze wafting through the whole night. We are catching another train later to Ayuthaya – temple and all sorts, stay there tonight and then on to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand tomorrow night. I have never met so many nationalities in such a short space of time...

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