"Why not?" I ask.

"These are not good areas."

That's the introduction I was given upon my arrival in the town of Niagara in the United States. It puts to sleep illusions of natural wonder combined with fine dining and abundant entertainment, which I'd not unreasonably fabricated. I am, after all, one of forty six million who'll visit Niagara Falls this year. Not unreasonable, but wrong.

Join me for a walk around town. On my right you'll see a school, architecturally dull and otherwise lifeless. It's closed which I guess is the reason why the gym down another street has locked its doors too. No school. That's why a third of the houses are abandoned and rotting.

Children do need an education. Even though it's just a short walk to one of the world's most impressive natural wonders, students don't learn algebra by staring at waterfalls.

It's getting dark now and I've ventured out to explore the culinary delights of the town. If visitors are expecting a diverse range of restaurants, in a well-lit area so they can walk safely with their children in tow, think again.

This is what awaits them - having to watch their back constantly as they walk briskly through the dark. They'll be virtually walking in a spin, on their way to McDonald's - the only eatery in town.

USA Caves of the Winds tour. You get wet on a little red bridge.

Why is a town in a land of opportunity, especially one that should be thriving on tourist dollars, in such a state? It's a debate among the local people. A taxi driver blames Canada for installing casinos on their side, "just to get one over on America." Some residents believe that rising local taxes drove many away.

I would like to ask the tourist information centre some questions and point me in the direction of a good, Italian restaurant. Well, they say it's closed and has been for some time. I need to think.

There are forty six million people visiting annually. That's about nine hundred thousand a week, over one hundred thousand a day, but I cannot see one of them. Where are they all? Canada! With a spring in my step, off I jaunt over the bridge to Canada. I even get another stamp in my passport!

"What's the purpose of your visit to Canada?"
"Just to get away from America!" I joke.

It'll raise a smile. Canadians hate Americans. It doesn't raise a smile. Instead, the stern-looking man at passport control looks impatiently at me.

"To visit the falls," I corrected.

His lack of cheeriness won't get me down. I'm in Niagara, Ontario. It must be a feast for the senses to have so crushed the tourist opportunities on the American side of the famous Falls! Canadians have superior views of both the American and Horseshoe Falls. Well, an improvement yes, but not a feast.

In contrast to the eerie silence of Niagara, U.S.A., here in Ontario they've plumped for the flashing lights of casinos and theme restaurants. It's Blackpool with a view. I don't want to sound like an old man. I'm no tree-hugger and you won't catch me throwing bricks through the front door of Starbucks, but when I take a picture of Niagara Falls, I don't want the Hard Rock Café in the frame!

Canadian Lady of the Mist tour. You get wet on a little white boat.

How could two countries make such differing yet equally depressing errors of judgement?

The Falls are still breathtaking, especially the views Canadians are treated to - a boat ride on the Lady of the Mist is essential, while the "Cave of the Winds" tour underneath the American Falls is awesome. You might even be super fortunate and witness adrenaline junkies after the ultimate rush throw themselves (illegally, of course) off the Falls in a barrel. I'm informed some make it, some don't! So by all means go there, see it, but don't buy the T-shirts. Save your money and run. Run and never look back!

Questions?
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