Find Me In Jamaica #7

21 June 2002

I’ve been awake for a half an hour. I can’t sleep. I had a strong urge to call my husband yesterday, but I didn’t. Last night I had vivid dreams about company employees and more.

Scene: Bookkeeper wants me to look at – wash out – the “bag”. I had no idea what she was referring to, and she kept pestering me. When I finally saw the “bag”, it was the blue hiking backpack I have owned for years. It was open and empty. The lead tech support rep wanted to take it with her.

Next Scene: I am in the car with the lead tech support rep from the company. She is driving. She is saying everyone is getting rid of her. I said we forgot the blue backpack (after all that fuss about it from the bookkeeper) and she said not to worry about it. The bookkeeper would mail it to her. I said she might not like working from home every day. She nodded her head. I was not sure whether she agreed with me or if she was indicating she would like working from home every day.

Next Scene: A group setting. Founder and President of a big software company says “Hello”, and greets me with a HUG. It seems to be a big event for the company, but there is no mention of the company name and no signs or “real” indication of the existing company. There is a guy named Carl with a SYNC sticker on his left lapel. He points to me and says, “I need to talk to you.” It is not the face of my husband, but I seem to know him, and he is displaying the SYNC sticker as if he is a representative of the company.

Next Scene: I am with a bunch of women, and one of them is singled out as a new employee. I am surprised in the dream. It is told to me that she has something to do with the movies or film. In the dream I do not understand the connection and what she can do for the company.

Next Scene: Looks like a lecture hall. There is a projector up front, and seats that fold down in the audience. I sit between two men, one is displaying unhappiness and I ask if this is too much for him to handle. He says or indicates not by shaking his head. I don’t know the purpose of the event but there is a lot of chatting between audience members and no focus on the presenter (is there one?)

Next Scene: I am in a parking lot on a mountain bike. I am riding and doing small stunts such as jumping over ledges and curbs. I am talking to my husband. He is walking next to me. Observers comment on my riding skills, and I reply to their positive messages with comments such as, “That was just a little jump”, as in, ‘no big deal’. My husband and I are discussing something and I am saying something to the effect of ‘after all this’. My attitude is disapproving. I continue to ride the bike.

Next Scene: We are at a social party at someone’s house. There is chatting about the company stock price going up. There is another woman involved. I am disapproving. My husband is hanging out with her for the duration, and as I mingle, I run into them and send disapproving signals to him such as shaking my head. The party is emptying out and the President of the company greets me warmly “Goodbye” with a HUG.

Next Scene: I find my husband and the woman on a bed, lying down, fully dressed and talking. She is leaning in towards him as if they are cuddling. When she sees me, she rolls away from him. I send disapproving signals, stand up on the bed over them, and spill my drink on her. My husband passively responds in a disapproving way. [I wonder as I write this if my husband dreamt about this as well. How did he feel when he woke up this morning? What were his initial thoughts? Was he there in my dream with me?]

Next Scene: There is a barmaid with beer taps. I ask her for an “O’Douls”. She pours me one from the last tap. I ask her what it is; she says it is “O’Douls”. I look at the handle, and it does not say “O’Douls”, but something else. I ask for something else. She gives it to me.

Next Scene: Standing in the hall with several guys drinking beer. The house is large and expansive and has many open rooms. The living room is open to the elements and there are several people on a couch watching TV.

Are these people all my guardian angels? Who do they represent? Was the company President really in my dream? Does she even remember me? Is fear overcoming me? Are my intuitions a real indicator of truth, or is paranoia setting in and planting roots? Is there another woman or am I reflecting my own fears of the situation into my dream? Where is this coming from? I want to blame him to find a reason for these thoughts. I am in a Metamorphosis and my body and brain is going through convulsions to rid myself of worry. Could this theory be legitimized through standard psychology? Is this type of intense deep thought analysis my calling? Does it need to be demonstrated through art to be understood?

Theorem: The mind has a direct connection to the ‘other side’ where our physical bodies cannot go. During deep meditation or sleep the mind can access parts of the brain that house stored memories and ways of thinking. These stored ideas can be cleansed, exposed, revealed to free a person of recurring problems. The stored memories/ideas/thoughts may reveal themselves through stories in dreams. These dreams are actually live and happen with the participation of people on the ‘other side’. This would explain why many dreams include people who we know, but who look different in the dream. The roles of others who are alive and on Earth in a physical body are played by those on the ‘other side’. Dreams aren’t meant to deceive the dreamer, but are used as a playing area or stage to ‘play out’ issues that need attention. If a player in the dream looks like the real person, it probably is the real person, participating in the dream with you to help resolve an issue. Some people may not be able to remember vividly their participation in the dream. The others may have included the other person to try to move things along. Many times, the other person may wake up with similar feelings/ideas/thoughts as the other dreamer.

Next Steps:
Study Dream Analysis
Research Jungian and Freudian Philosophy on Prayer and Dreams
Study on Dreams as a response to Prayer
Win Pulitzer Prize

It’s now 5:30 a.m. I just wrote 15 pages in my journal in one hour. That equals one-thousand, one-hundred and seventy-seven words. It is dawn now, and I am going back to sleep.

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