All Mixed-up and Someplace To Go – Guatelmala, Central America

practical-guide
Updated Dec 1, 2008

Marina Kuperman left San Pedro de la Laguna anticipating her next destination, hoping for less contradiction and more acceptance.


Where do Maya Indians, fugitives, assortment of

addicts, evangelists and world-roaming backpackers call home? San Pedro de la Laguna in Guatemala. This oddball lakeside town of Lago de Atitlan is

clandestinely nestled in the foothills of the once active San Pedro

Volcano. The only rememnants of volcanic

activity is the charred brain cells of the weirdo-gringo class that rapidly

multiplies, but luckily, stays contained within the enclosed dirt hills of this

tiny hamlet.


There are two ways to get

here. One method is the chicken buses,

jostling their broken-down frames along unpaved, crater filled roads. The second method is the most popular, requiring the least

amount of effort, a boat from Panajachel – the one time popular gringo hangout, now the gateway to more obscure hide-outs.


Since I arrived in Guatemala

four months ago, I’ve constantly heard enticing rumors about San Pedro.


“It’s so beautiful – you

can swim in the lake, climb the volcano, chill out on the rocks.


San Pedro

is the cheapest place in all of Guatemala.

Everything is two bucks: hotels, food, beer. The cheapest Spanish lessons.


You haven’t been to San Pedro? What are

you waiting for? Once you get there,

you’ll never leave."


How can anyone resist

such tantalizing recommendations!

Twenty-twenty hindsight, I should have paid more attention to the

travelers giving the advice than the advice itself.


I stepped off the boat with my backpack and was

instantly attacked by a throng of little boys eager to take me to the accommodation of

their choice – for a small fee. The

average age of these little workers started at four, still adorable,

but once they reached the ripe-old age of six, they bordered on nuisance. Kindly, I thanked them for their attention

and set off on my own.


I felt betrayed. At first glance San Pedro didn’t strike me as

the gem of Guatemala. As a matter of fact, it looked like a dump:

plastic wrappers along with other odds and ends littered the sidewalks filled

with a fresh aroma of rotting fruit that penetrated the air. I crinkled my nose confused about the

destination and set off on my hotel mission.

The entire village, with the exception of the steep road leading to the

center plaza, was a labyrinth of criss-crossed dirt paths. I made my way past vacant lots covered with

trash, through clusters of dirt floor shacks, and finally came upon the highly

raved hotels. I had a variety to choose

from, all within my price range: two bucks.


All villages, towns, suburbs and cities have one thing in common: they are always under

construction. Such was the case in this

village. My choices were:

semi-constructed cement hotels on the right or their unfinished counterparts on

the left. I played eenie-meenie-minee-moe and landed upon The Santa

Elena. This small, oddly shaped orange

structure would be my home for the next week.

It fit perfectly into the overall disorganization of the town. I was given a room on the bathroom-less side

(all the others were taken), which was quite an inconvenience. To cross over to

the other side required acrobatic skills, which could somehow be achieved

during the day, but at night, good luck!


A cement courtyard split

the hotel into two disheveled structures. Construction materials bought years

ago to complete the building were strewn about in the middle with cinder

blocks, rods and sharp nails protruding outward. If this wasn’t enough of a challenge, a

brilliant engineer hired ages ago, decided it was a good idea to put the water

run-off directly in the middle of the yard, unevening the concrete slabs and

then he tried to bridge them together with a three inch, unsteady wooden

plank. This was the path to the baño

side.


I pushed my bladder concerns to the back of my mind and headed back out to the

dirt paths. It was mid-day Saturday, the

sun was in full glory and the trails were deserted. Besides exploring "the prize possession of Guatemala", as

my compadres called it, I wanted to take Spanish classes. On my way, I couldn’t break free from the one

element that followed me everywhere – dirt.

It was in the air, on the ground, in my room, on my hands, on my face,

in my hair – impossible to escape!

I swam through the grayish fog of dust and found one of the Spanish

schools. Since Sunday is rest day and

classes began Monday, I had two full days to acquaint myself with the locale.


I ended up at the popular hang out – Nick’s Place 3. I sat

down next to a group of travelers: two guys and a girl. We engaged in

conversation. After the standard

pleasantries, I asked, “How long have you been in San Pedro?”


“We’ve been here for about two months,” one guy answered with

a dazed look.


“How do you like it?”


“It’s cool. How about you?” he remarked.


“I don’t know anything about it. I just arrived two hours ago,”

I replied, “Are you studying here?”


“Nah, we haven’t gotten around to it yet,” he yawned.


“Oh have you been up to the volcano? I hear you can see the entire lagoon from the

peak.”


“Naw, it’s too far up, it’s like a five or six hour climb,”

the other guy answered.


The girl quickly interjected, “You don’t want to go up there

on your own because there are a lot of bandits with machetes, people are

always getting assaulted. It’s better to use a guide, but I think they’re super

expensive.”


I had absolutely no intention to head up some volcano on my own

or with a guide, I’ll leave the climbing to climbers!


“So what else is there to do?” I asked quizzically. I

couldn’t imagine what you can possibly do here for longer than one week, much less two months.


“We got some kind bud.

Once you smoke this, you’ll be flying to the peak of that volcano,” they

all broke out in laughter.


The gait and mannerisms of certain travelers seem to repeat

no matter the destination. In this

case, I knew exactly whom I was talking to.

My new-found friends had one thing on their agenda – smoke as much grass as possible and do as

little as possible. This was my cue to

say goodbye.


I

trekked my way around the lakeside, enjoying the fabulous view of the

aquamarine lagoon encircled by volcanoes and mountains and headed back to my

room. I am one of those people who can’t

find their way out of a paper bag. Needless to say, I got lost on my way

home. En route, I past more run-down accommodations with languid travelers sprawled out on hammocks, rocking and swaying to

inner musical rhythms. The pungently sweet aroma of marijuana floated through

the fruit trees towards the sky impersonating smoke signals to attract their

kindred spirits. As I worried about my

future week in San Pedro, I stumbled upon my hotel. Greeted by the waking

humans from one of the rooms, I was grateful for something to do. Slyly, I made my way into their

conversation.


Replay. I asked the couple how long they’ve been

here. Apparently, their "mad love affair" began two  months ago, although Stacy had

been here for three months and Ted for five months.


“Which school are you

studying Spanish” I asked.


“Ha ha, ha. I, we,

haven’t gotten around to it.” Ted answered for them and winked at his proud

girlfriend, at the same moment whipping out a joint and lighting it. “You want some?”


“No thanks, I’m going to

take a nap.”


What was I doing

here?


Saturday

came and went. Early Sunday morning I

was awakened by a cacophony of sounds.

It started at six in the morning with explosions of all sorts, followed by

agonizing "hallelujahs" and young indigenous girls banging on hotel doors

selling pan de banana. I rued this turn

of events. My plan was to sleep all of

Sunday to make the time fly before school.

Instead I had the whole day to wander around.


Choices

limited, I went to the market.

[IMAGE: image-001.jpg | alt: Independence Day parade in San Pedro la Laguna, Guatemala]

Independence Day parade in


San Pedro la Laguna, Guatemala


The indigenous made up

the majority of the population in San Pedro.

They were extremely poor, simple-minded, religious, uneducated and

traditional. With the

exception of merchants and vendors who use Spanish regularly, they still

communicated in their native tongue. The

women dressed in long colorful skirts covered in a thin layer of

dirt with a solid shirt tucked in and tightened by a hand-woven

belt. If not barefoot, the women wore

rubber shoes that cost one dollar, bought for them when they

turned six-years-old to be worn until they die.

The women never looked you in the eye and held their children close as

they passed by. The men, with their

muscular physiques from years of carrying heavy loads up and down steep hills,

had no problem looking straight at you, and often lewd remarks accompanied their

toothless smiles. I bought bean tamales

and sat in the plaza as the locals scurried around me busy with domestic

chores.


Bored I headed back to the docks and walked right

into the absurd reality of San Pedro. I

remembered a conversation I had months ago with an aging expatriate who’d been

living in Guatemala

for over twenty-five years, although some of the facts were blurry. I clearly

recalled him mentioning that Lago de Atitlan, predominantly, San Pedro had the

most fugitives per capita than any other Latin American country. The FBI and other officials from the U.S. and Canada came here two times per year

to bring home the newly investigated trophies of the exclusive sub-culture that

thrived deep within the curvy paths and covert dens of this chosen town. Meanwhile, the ex-pats lived off their

stolen riches and started new enterprises.

Not straying far from the familiar, they sold drugs. But these newly appointed drug lords weren’t

the only ones who found their way to this lawless village. Misfits of all walks of life decided to "drop

out of life", proudly voicing their reasons to anyone who was within

earshot.


I sat

on the pier where the boats dropped off misinformed tourists, and tried to

ignore the assembly line of Indian girls selling pan de banana, pan de coco or

other treats. Inadvertently, I eavesdropped on my neighbors’ conversation.


“America was too difficult to cope

with; I couldn’t handle the stress and the cut-throat lifestyle,” a man in his

50’s with stringy, unkempt hair exalted as he lounged in the sun with a

beer.


“Yeah, I hear ya man, I

worked as a cashier for Wal-Mart, it was too much,” his buddy

sympathized smoking feverishly on a filter-less cigarette.


“Hey man what happened to

you last night?”


“Whadda ya mean, man?”


“I was stumbling home and

nearly cracked my noggin as I tripped over you.

You were passed out, dude.”


“Ooooohhhhh, I remember man, what a night, I got soo plastered.

And then a buddy of mine gave me some grass and that was it, man,” he

spittled a laugh, “I was so toasted I couldn’t even make it home.”


“I hear ya. That’s

happened to me aplenty. “


“I know, hey that’s life,

no worries.” He patted his pal on the back and continued, “Hey have you seen my

new abode. It’s great man. I have no electricity, no running water. Outside’s an outhouse which was there when I

found the place. It’s great. I totally lucked out, no worries.”


He shifted his body to

the right leaning on an elbow and let his legs fall apart exposing blackened

underwear through shorts on the brink of evaporation from over-use and

under-wash. There were no laundry mats

in this part of the world and God forbid you put hand to cloth, which could

represent conformity to the rest of the world.

This little display gave me too many worries, and I scuttled on home

immediately.


Not

all the travelers who happened upon this mixed up little town were eager to

fully saturate their bodies with elements of all kind and spend endless amounts

of days in complete oblivion. I managed to find people with similar interests.

No, we were not teetotalers, but coherency was important. I introduced myself to some of the other

occupants. There were six: three guys from Switzerland,

taking Spanish courses for the past two weeks; an American couple who arrived

today and signed up for the same school as I did; and my next door neighbor, an

Australian girl, who’d been here for the past two days.


We had dinner at Pinocchio’s Restaurant owned by John Wayne’s personal

chef. How did he end up here? It didn’t matter, the food was fantastic and

it was two bucks. To fill our thirst, a

cold beer won unanimously and we trotted in step to the bar strip. Actually there were three little bars alongside the dock, all owned by foreigners. We chose the

Italian-Israeli bar/restaurant/disco.


San Pedro was made out of

dirt and rock. Strict restrictions have been placed on construction of certain

buildings that cater to a lot of foot traffic and musical vibrations,

forcing most entertainment establishments to move to the waterfront. The use of stilts burrowed deep into the

cliffs and the water were used to balance and support these particular

foundations. With great views and open

verandas, the bar cleared out half of its space after sunset and a makeshift

nightclub was arranged. We sat in the

space with tables and ordered a round of beer.

Eighties music filled the open-aired room; the patrons began moving.


On

this side of the docks, it was rare to spot anyone from the indigenous race. They kept themselves as far away from the

sinners of the new world as possible.

While they fed their large families with beans and prepared their

hammocks or haystack beds, we indulged in Satan’s temptations. Ironically, a stray sat at the next

table. She had long lost her typical

dress and manners, judging by her washed-up sad appearance, she had lost more

than just her traditions. She

excommunicated herself from the tribe to search for the pot-of-gold at the end

of a rainbow, instead she found pyrite and a fool.


Somewhere between us

ordering drinks and thanking the waitress, the fool accompanying the local

girl, decided we were conspiring against him. He catapulted upward knocking over his wooden

chair and jumped on top of our table. He

missed, thanks to alcohol, and landed on his butt next to the foot of the

Australian girl, Wendy. But his point

was made. A maniac was on the loose.

One of the owners, either the Italian or the

Israeli, came to our rescue, “Ok, Jimmmm, relax, you’ve had too much to drink.

Why don’t you go home?”


He turned to us and whispered, “This happens all the time,

especially when he drinks whiskey. Post-traumatic-stress

syndrome or something like that,” he winked at us as if this was the most

natural thing in the world.


I was too terrified to run to the loo to vomit my guts out,

so I sat paralyzed, stopping all blood flow to my hands as I gripped my chair

for dear life.

He was falling all over himself, tripping over chairs,

bouncing off the beams that held the restaurant in place. It wasn’t a pretty spectacle and an

experience I would have loved to miss.

Finally his frumpish girlfriend stood up and cajoled him in the

direction of the exit with a touch of Latin sweetness.

With the help of the owner, they managed to shove his heavy frame out

the exit door. The goofballs at my table provoked him by screaming a string of obscenities on his way

out. I sent telepathic

farewells to the world I knew and the family I loved. The last thing I heard as the door to the

restaurant shut was the owner saying, “See you tomorrow Jim. Take care.”


Police of Guatemala

are infamous for corruption and were feared more than the thieves and crooks of

this country. Bribery and law

enforcement went hand in hand. So to

operate an establishment such as the one I was patronaging required business

sense and a few bucks.

Our ingenious restaraunteurs were fully aware of the infinite rewards

money could buy.

They were home and I missed home.


You’re asking: Why was I

still here? Well, hastily I paid in advance for my classes without the

knowledge that refund policies have yet to enter the commerce sector of Latin America.

Either I would throw my money out due to childish fear, or I’d stick it out

and accept my reality.


Grammar is essential to

learning a new language, but I wasn’t planning to write a book. My goal was to converse freely with locals, and

avoid being swindled by them.

Admiringly, I sat at one end of the small wooden table under a thatched

roof and faced my new Spanish tutor. She

was my first Mayan encounter and gladly obliged when I insisted our lessons

consisted of talk, talk and more talk.


Her oval, brown face

opened up with a huge smile revealing five front teeth outlined in gold. The Mayan forefathers had immense wealth,

which eventually led to their destruction and take-over by the greedy

conquistadors. No wealth remains but

genetics is hard to change. A traditional Indian proudly displayed his

affluence with the amount of teeth outlined in gold, even if he only had a

few teeth. They prefer spending

their money on ornamentation rather than salvaging rotting teeth. I assumed she was in the wealthier class, not

judging from the gold, but the number of teeth remaining.


It was impossible to

ignore the unique lifestyles, stories, or rumors centered on Guatemala’s indigenous

population. I marveled at our grand

differences. I was curious as to what really happened inside their secluded

communities. On average their realm of

reality extends 100-kilometers in circumference, so it was understandable when a

blonde-haired, five-foot-six-inch woman entered, I became a source of curiosity. I’ve had a multitude of kids

tug at my hair, touch me or stare unrelentingly at my alien appearance. They

wanted to know if I was real, the same way I wanted to know if they were

real. Never finding the right moment to

talk to one of them, I was thrilled when my teacher slowly began telling me her

life story. What else could we talk

about?


Born to a family of thirteen, which was the

average family size, she didn’t see her first shoe until she

was twelve years old, a rubber hand-me-down from her older sister. The transition from childhood to womanhood

occurred around the age of six, when the load of chores substituted playtime.

There were no government regulations or truancy laws pertaining to school attendance;

parents decided if their children went to school or not. I wasn’t clear as to why, but her parents

allowed her to finish school, unlike her siblings, who were taken out after

four years to go work. Taking advantage

of her privilege, she understood the benefits of education and applied for

university.


There’s one public

university located in the capital, three hours from Panajachel. It was fully funded by the government. However, she came from pure poverty, not

knowing where the next meal would come from was a constant concern in the

house. Rent in the city was out of the

question. Her only option was synonymous

to slavery. Rich families took-on

destitute girls to clean, cook and care for their children. Monday through Friday she studied from 8:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m at the university, arrived at the house

by two, where she cared for the three children, cleaned and worked until 10:00 p.m. She retired to her little space, shared with

the large sink where laundry was done and until 3:00 a.m., she prepared her schoolwork.

She didn’t get paid but she had a place to sleep and some food. Transportation to the

university and school supplies cost money; in turn she worked fifteen hours on

Saturdays at a button factory.


During these four years, she met her husband-to-be. “He was the only light in

my ominous existence.” They were

classmates. At first she was hesitant to

his advances because he was the "Don Juan" of her class. Curiosity piqued, I

asked, “Didn’t you have other boyfriends before him?”


Shyly she looked away

pushing back her waist-long, dark-brown braids intertwined with bright red and

blue material to match her traditional outfit and answered, “No. The only other boys I’ve talked to were my

brothers and some of their friends.” Her unbridled innocence was

a true contradiction to the surroundings.

During the week, I

altered my route invariably. I took new

paths to school, to my hotel, to the restaurants, to town. I have a habit of being completely

oblivious to my surroundings. After my eyes adjusted to the dirt-filled air, I

realized that at every turn in the road, on every corner, between houses and

restaurants stood a church of some denomination or other. The most dominate one, the Evangelistic sect,

controlled more than half of all of San Pedro’s real estate. I had yet to see a medical clinic.


San Pedro

has one "real" road and at times even that is questionable. The only cars I saw were broken down pick-ups loaded with fruits and vegetables sputtering

towards the market. Surreally, out

drove a brand new Toyota Rav4 edition.

In the States this is considered a luxury car, with a price tag of a

minimum of $30,000. Imported to Guatemala

with tax, it costs at least $40,000.

Who in San Pedro could afford it?

Why were they here? How did they

get the money?


I never made it to the

market, instead returned to the hotel and found some of the gang hanging out on

the bano side. I hopped, skipped and

jumped over the drain and joined them.

Perplexed by my new discovery, I asked, “Have you seen the brand

new SUV around here?"


Brian, the American, who

seemed to have all the answers, replied, “Yeah, I’ve seen it. It belongs to the advocate and head honcho

for the Evangelistic denomination of San Pedro.

He owns almost all of the churches, schools and stores.”


“But how does he have so

much money? These people can’t afford

shoes?” I questioned.


“You haven’t heard the

story about this guy. I forget his name, but it’s a well known story.”


“NOOO!” We all perked

up.


He began, “Do you

remember Pinocchio’s restaurant? Right in

front of it is a huge cement wall with barbed wire?” I nodded. “If you peak

into the gate you can catch a glimpse of a mansion?”


“That’s what that is?

Every time I pass by some beastly dog barks through the impenetrable wall,” I

exclaimed.


He laughed, “That’s his

watch dog. I saw a maid walking him one day. It’s a rotweiler. Anyhow, that’s the guy’s house.”


I thought it was a

military training facility; there was no reason why anyone should take such

extreme measures of security unless they really had something to

hide.


“But how can he afford

it?”


“Well that’s the twisted

part. Seven months ago, an American who

actually had some sense, which is rare in this neck of the woods,” we

snickered, “became suspicious. He

couldn’t understand how the pastor of the most popular church could live in

opulence while his attendees were in squalor and suffered from

malnutrition. He started to ask around,

even went as far as to attend the man’s sermons. He was fluent in Spanish, but also spoke

Tzutujil.”


“That’s the Maya dialect

used here, right?” someone interrupted.


“Yeap, and it certainly

helped him. Because he found out that

the church is funded by a missionary group from the States. They hired this

crook to disperse the donations within his village. They have no idea how badly he is robbing

them. He’s a great politician. The Mayans spoke reverently about their savoir,

telling the American how the guy gives them a pound of sugar, beans, rice,

one-hundred tortillas and two-dozen eggs weekly.”


“That’s supposed to feed

a family of twenty!”


“That’s the point. It can barely feed a family of four. So he dug deeper. He got the name of the

group in the States, called them and pretended to be a donor. The average donation was twenty dollars per

person, per month. There are about five

thousand participants. Do the math; it’s

close to $100,000.”


We sprang up in unison,

“Wow! I should get into this line of business.”


“Twenty dollars per

family, per month is considered rich. This crook takes

seventeen dollars from each twenty dollars, pockets it and gives the other

three dollars in food and used clothing to his blind followers. He’s a millionaire. He’s also smart. He knows his village and his people very

well. They are broke, destitute and

uneducated. I think the latest statistic

was 70% of the indigenous males are illiterate, and 90% of their women. So he built evangelistic schools, and

brainwashes his future generations. He

also knows that there are no TV’s or newspapers. He takes advantage of the sheltered lives of

this meek race and exploits them for all they have.”


“Don’t tell me that they

also donate money to him?” his girlfriend asked, amazed.


“Absolutely, how can they

be saved if they don’t pay? So the

American decided to take action. He

plastered signs on every door, pole, restaurant and market exposing the

corruption. Instead of the revolt he was

hoping for, one evening the strongly influenced or well-bribed federales came

to his house, arrested him for harassing their man of the cloth and put him in

jail. Last I heard he was released after

two weeks and has never been seen in Guatemala again.” With this he clapped his hands as if he just

finished reading a book, leaving us to digest this sorry, unjust

reality of a helpless village.

The locals have few

work options. Their lack of education

reduces their prospects to physical labor, selling produce and other goods at

the market, cooking or walking around the village begging tourists for

money. One popular form is selling pan

de banana in the courtyards of hotels twenty-four hours a day. Their business tactics are annoying. 


I have visited many villages and towns

scattered throughout Latin America. Salsa, meringue, and other various musical

rhythms vibrated in the background along with laughter and cheer, no matter the

economic status or religious beliefs. As

you walked along the dusty paths in San Pedro, the only music heard was of the

recent settlers from the western world and the unholy gospels hypnotizing the

innocent. The homes were

always quiet, dim and devoid of true passionate life. What happened here? Wasn’t one takeover of these innocent, easily

led people enough? No. There was more blood

to suck dry.


At times I felt the week

would never end, but the buzz around the town was contagious. As Friday

neared, even I became excited. Once a year a festival is held in San Pedro, family

members from all over Guatemala

travel miles to join their extended kin. Announcement of their early

arrival had us all waiting in vain for the finale so we could go back to

sleep. For most travelers though, it was

a rare treat to partake in a traditional festival. In other words, deafening booms at all hours

of the morning were accepted as part of the observance. I, on the other hand, had stumbled upon this week because it coincided with my travel itinerary. I was not prepared

to take part in all of the activities.


It took over an hour for

us to congregate in the hotel courtyard, before heading towards the

gathering. Within seconds, mayhem commenced. We split up; Wendy and I were left to fend for ourselves. The noise was a full-on sensory

overload: screaming mothers, crying babies, motley crews of boys, drunken men,

carnival rides, live music, recorded music and other indefinable hums

trapped within a small space called San Pedro’s Center. We spun around, overwhelmed, not knowing

which way to go and decided on the free show.


To get to the stage we

needed to pass through the permanent market.

On a typical day it’s chaotic with vendors grabbing at you from all

sides and robotically screaming, “Verduras, frutas, bebidas, comidas. Que quieres?”

Over and over, simulating broken records. But tonight, it was an untamed zoo. Amidst the fifty regular booths, 200

additional ones were crammed into an already saturated space, overflowing

onto the narrow, winding, cobblestone street jammed with a million people. Since no plan was developed, booth keepers

disarrayed their shops wherever possible, creating too many unnecessary

dead-ends, adding to our frustration.


Music stands blasted

inaudible sounds out of speakers the size of small cars. Clothes vendors

dispersed on all sides of the streets and sold used jeans, long forgotten 80’s

bands silk-screened T-shirts, Jesus praising insignias or other fashion

rejects. Interspersed between household

goods, music, clothes and food stalls, stood a plethora of tiny booths selling

five-pound colorful, cubic blocks.


“What’s this?” I asked

Wendy.


“I haven’t the foggiest

…”


Sheer curiosity led us

to buy it. The vendor took out an ice

pick and chipped away. Small fragments

scattered around the pink block. With one swift motion he collected the

scraps and threw them into a small plastic bag, which cost fifty cents. It was candy.

I practically cracked a tooth as I bit into the hardest sweet created,

watching everyone at the festival as they sucked on this rock of sugar,

shedding new light on the toothless community.


We finally made it to the concert.

We stood at the far end of the plaza looking out over a sea of black

heads, scattered intermittently with blonde, redhead, and brunette beacons

bobbing to the beat of the music, occasionally nodding to a fellow traveler. The

local gringos didn’t bother to make an appearance. Either they’d seen it before, or were hiding

from bounty hunters. Whatever the reason, I gave them credit.


I surveyed my

surroundings and noticed that not all the Indians were catechized by

Evangelistic beliefs. Obviously, the

local community were divided by opposing pastures. The attendees’

preacher permitted some of them to let loose and enjoy a  bit of

freedom.


On stage, was the best

band I’d ever seen. "Wow! They are

incredible. Look at them move!” I

screamed and pointed at the singers doing splits, jumping over each other while

keeping in sync with the beat and singing perfectly. Their moves were flawless,

professional and creative.

With all of

the excitement on stage, we didn’t notice the crowd. It was a mortuary – bizzaro-land. Families, with lots of kids

hanging from every body part, huddled and scornfully watched us. They were motionless. It was like a still life, expressionless and

featureless.


The next song began. The energy on stage exploded, flew over our heads and dropped to the floor like a

care package falling from a plane into an evacuated village. Who were they performing

for? Who were they feeding off?


I have always admired true musicians. I’ve given credit where

it was due. For me to be part of this

ungrateful audience was shameful. We

wanted to run on stage and show our appreciation.


I grabbed Wendy by the arm and pushed our way through the

rigid, unbreakable figures blocking the passageways. We found the dance floor, although "dance" was a not exactly the word

I would choose to describe what we saw. Within the roped off, dirt space were

eight or ten males of various ages.

They were "out of it". It was as though

someone sprayed Raid and we arrived to catch the after effects. Some crawled on all fours to

nowhere; others were sprawled out obliterated and drooling; a few were still

holding on to beer bottles, slanted and walking in circles. Gathered around the rope were women with

their children silently observing their husbands make spectacles of

themselves. The little boys watched

timidly, for one day they would follow in their father’s footsteps. Little

girls eyed their future husbands with a concerned look, hoping their

men-to-be would behave better.


We exited the concert area and were swept

away by a stampede. At one point I was

lifted about half-a-foot off the ground and carried away by the masses. I closed my eyes and imagined myself on a

magic carpet flying as far away as possible. Instead, I drifted to a

side street and was impetuously dropped off in the middle of a queue. Wendy was released a few hundred feet in

front of me. Tracing the outline of the

never-ending line, filled with mothers and small children, I retrieved

her. Up ahead we saw a turnoff for the

road to take us back to Nick’s Place, but first, we had to find out what all

the waiting was about.


As we came

around the corner, we discovered the source. It was the very first ferris wheel

ever built! During its long life the

ancient attraction had seen more than one junkyard. The rusted machine was a death trap. Children jumped up and down as

their trusting parents clasped the useless safety buckle to hold them in

place. The wheel spun at the velocity of

light, fusing all the children into one.

The only reason none of them fell out was because the rapid speed kept

them plastered to the seats. We turned

right and went downhill to the bar.

With a cold brew in hand, surrounded by the other disappointed

backpackers, we toasted our last night.


Saturday morning arrived, I hopped on the first bus to take me far away from this tiny mixed up town,

where the convicts and freeloaders ruled the land, with confused souls

following blindly and completely unaffected by the traditional and severely

religious Indians that once lived here in an askew but peaceful existence. I was well aware that I did not fit into the

distinct categories of people foraging off this side of the world. I sat on the bus anticipating my next

destination and hoping for less contradiction and more acceptance.