Fear of Rafting Well, I finally made it to Oz. Wanted to come here for a while. I was supposed to be in Sydney, all expenses paid in 1999, courtesy of the company I worked for in NYC, Morgan Stanley (or, as I like to refer to the company, my rich Uncle Morgan who sent
Fear of Rafting
Well, I finally made it to Oz. Wanted to come here for a while. I was supposed to be in Sydney, all expenses paid in 1999, courtesy of the company I worked for in NYC, Morgan Stanley (or, as I like to refer to the company, my rich Uncle Morgan who sent me around the world first class in 1999. Thank you, Uncle Morgan). But that trip to Oz was nipped in the bud at the last minute. Better late than never.
I took the flight from Hawaii to Guam and waited in the Guam airport for an hour or so to catch my connection to Cairns. Guam looked nice from the airplane and I might visit it on my way back. I did get an offer to stay with a family I met on the plane. I had to smirk at the Guam airport though. I guess Guam got all our American goodness when it became a territory. The airport was laced with Domino’s Pizza, Mickey D’s and even Wienerschnitzel (for my non-Californian friends, Wienerschnitzel is a Californian fast food hot dog place – nothing like a good Corn Dog in the middle of the Pacific!).
The flight to Cairns lasted about four hours and I arrived there shortly before 11pm. Since my mind was elsewhere before I left California, I neglected to book a place to stay my first night in Oz. So in Hawaii I hurriedly logged on and booked two nights at the Radisson on the harbor at Cairns. Cushy digs! I can’t do this too often or I’ll be out of money by Darwin! It really is a 4 star hotel – comfy bed, sitting area, desk, huge shower and a really deep bathtub. The price wasn’t that bad – AU$160 which, since the US dollar is so strong here, works out to US$80 a night.
I really like Cairns: nice harbor (although there are no beaches in the city) and it is surrounded by lush mountains. The town is not too big nor too small but definitely a city built on tourism and yet doesn’t have the strip-mall tackiness that you see in a lot of US tourist towns. Some guidebooks say Cairns is pronounced ‘Cannes’ like the Frenchy town but I think it is more ‘Care-nzs’, without a hard ‘R’.
My NY’er friends will have no problem pronouncing it since they drop their ‘R’s anyway. What is it with NY’ers and their ‘R’s? The people from Queens that I worked with at PaineWebber in NYC always pronounced it “PaineWebbah” and then referred to a woman who worked there by the name of Linda as “Lind-er”. Go figyah.
The one downfall to Cairns is that it has a casino. And casinos and I are not a match made in heaven. They take and take and give me very little in return. I am going to have a hard time since Aussies are so fond of their gambling. There are casinos in every major town. Please pray for me to be strong.
I did go to the casino and I played with about US$50 all night. They charge you for drinks at the casinos here. I said “Hey, they don’t charge you for drinks in Las Vegas or Foxwoods (Connecticut)!” The drink server responded dryly ‘this isn’t Las Vegas’. Nope this is Oz! I suggested that I start a petition to allow for free drinks in Aussie casinos while I am here – hey, I gotta do some good on this trip! I did order a bottled water, which came to US$1.50, then after that I ordered my first Aussie beer – ‘XXXX Gold (4X Gold)’ which cost me US$0.75. Gotta love a country where beer is cheaper than water!
I met a couple from Perth about my age at the casino and since I really want to visit Perth, I chatted with them. They were really nice and offered me a place to stay when I came to Perth. But since they were pretty well 8 sheets to the wind, I really didn’t take them seriously. They mentioned that they were going on a white water rafting trip the next day and suggested I come along. I thought what the hell and booked it.
The weather in Cairns was overcast that day of the rafting trip and about 75 degrees but the white water rafting was about two hours away and up in the mountains (on the Tully river). It was piss raining the whole day and probably about 65 on the river. I was either freezing or scared shitless because I was shivering the whole time.
When I saw the river I thought to myself “What the hell did I sign up for?” There were huge boulders everywhere and the rapids looked pretty dangerous (I did have to sign a waiver releasing them from any liability if I were to fall out and get chewed up by the jagged rocks or by a passing crocodile). “Well,” I thought “This is what I wanted – a really good adventure.”
They did have one part of the rapids that they called “The Double D Rapids”. The tour guide said a few years back a buxom American woman fell out of the raft at that part of rapids and the rocks tattered her life vest and bathing suit to shreds. They said the name was formed when she stepped out of the water in all her God-given glory.
A picture of a picture on the deadly Tully River
I shared the boat with the couple from Perth and a few English kids. I, representing the Great States of America and all the goodness for which it stands, was the first and only occupant to fall out of the boat and proceeded to get my ass slammed against a rock (I have a big red, blue and yellow bruise on my left cheek to prove it). Also went through a rapid and got head butted on the jaw by the guy in front of me. ALSO was playing ‘splash the next boat’ and someone got me really good in the face and I lost a contact lens. I am pretty blind so I had to close the offending eye to see properly. So I was a lame, headachy, one-eyed pirate! Arrrrr, shiver me timbers, me arse be sore!
Yesterday I left Cairns for Port Douglas. ‘Port’, as the Aussies refer to it (the Aussies love to shorten any word, just as Americans are fond of acronyms), is about one hour north of Cairns and a pretty chi-chi place. Even Bill and his beloved Hillary spent some time here a few years back. I am staying at a little studio apartment with a little kitchenette right on the beach. It is run by a nice German couple from Freiburg. I got to practice using my German again and they gave some German novels to read while I sit me sore arse on the beach (I know I said I didn’t want a beach vacation, but I really was beat up after the white water rafting and just wanted to veg). The beach is absolutely beautiful. It is called 4 Mile Beach (and ironically enough it is 4 miles) and it is wide, sandy and palm fringed (I will attach a photo on the next update).
Tomorrow I will probably do snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. This is another fear of mine: fish with big jaws and very little brains. Pray that I don’t become shark poop.